tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73364333723137189272024-02-08T09:42:50.927-08:00LIFE POSITIVEsenthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-82558834725130712532011-11-18T20:08:00.001-08:002011-11-18T20:09:12.933-08:00The Universal Laws<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Universal Laws, including The Law of Attraction, are all continually at work for everyone. I would like to help you realize that your “dream life” can be yours, and to help you materialize those dreams through the use of universal laws and principles that are always working</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">By becoming aware of and using The Law Of Attraction, the other Universal laws, Positive thinking, and The Principles for success, learning to harmonize your actions with these powers and re-programing your Subconscious mind, you have the ability to transform your results in every area of life. So the question is, how do you go about changing all these areas of your life and start living the life of your dreams? Keep reading, and I will share everything you need to know to bring about the life you desire.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">It is first of all simple, and everyone of us has the tools inside to accomplish the creation of our perfect life. Unfortunately, most people never learn how to utilize these tools to create the life they dream of. They simply don’t know or believe that they can control the outcome of life this way.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The first step is to simply make the choice to do so, and then to change your predominant focus and thoughts. So, for now, just believe that it is possible.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">As we continue on, I will share with you precisely how the Universal laws and Principles are always at work creating your reality, either in a positive or negative way, but always according to your own directing of the laws. My goal is to help you use these tools to create your true, innermost desired life filled with Health, Abundance and Happiness.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I will share with you the information that, if you choose to use it, can and will transform your life. The Law of Attraction and all the Universal Laws work in conjunction with the faith you may already practice, so don’t worry that this will conflict with a certain faith. Whether you are of Christian, Jewish, “Spiritual but not religious”, any faith, or of no particular faith at all, The Universal Laws are at work in you.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">These Universal Laws and principles are not a Secret and they are not just for an elite few. They are for everyone and they are always at work, whether you are aware of it or not. The Universal Laws, like the physical laws such as gravity, are always at work for everyone whether or not you can see it, know it exists or understand it. The laws are always working, bringing about their results without fail. With the law of gravity, you know if you drop something it is going to fall every time. You don’t need to be a scientist or understand all the mathematical details, you just know it works.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Universal Laws-</span></span><br style="color: seashell; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="color: seashell; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="color: seashell; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">“The discovery of Quantum Physics has been vital to unearth the hidden possibilities The Law of Attraction possesses. We should all thank Dr. Fread Alen Wold, Dr. Emoto, Dr. Amit Goswami and many more who have helped bridge the gap between science and spirituality and to help us more readily understand The Universal Laws with the study of Quantum Physics.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Attraction- The Law of Attraction is a profound Universal Law which causes whatever energy is sent out into the universe to be joined by or attracted to other energy of an equal or harmonious frequency, vibration, or resonance.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Vibration- The Law of Vibration states that everything in our universe in its most basic form, both seen and unseen, consists of pure energy or light which resonates as a vibrational frequency or pattern, as demonstrated in quantum physics.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Abundance and the Law of Growth- The Law of Abundance and the Law of Growth can be seen in the natural and continual growth within our universe. Things are continuously multiplying, producing and growing through these laws. The abundance and type of growth is determined only by the kind and quality of the seed or energy it comes from.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Cause and Effect- This law is often referred to as “Sowing and Reaping” or “Karma.” The law states that any action will produce or return a result or outcome in the exact proportion to the action or cause which initiated it.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Resonance- In the Law of Resonance shows that all energy sent out into the universe must be joined by or attracted to other energy of an equal or harmonious frequency, vibration, or resonance which determines and creates your actual results and reality. As quantum physics shows, everything, including thoughts, emotions and beliefs have a vibratory pattern or frequency with a varying degree from positive to negative or high to low.</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Law of Reciprocity- The Law of Reciprocity states that everything ultimately must give and take mutually or must return in kind or degree. This law is completely connected to and works perfectly with all the Universal Laws. The end result is that everything must reciprocate in likeness or in kind or degree.</span></span></div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-18232666974482180402011-11-13T19:10:00.001-08:002011-11-13T19:11:28.748-08:00How To Make A *Positive Difference* Every Single Day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Change your life from making a living to making a difference."<br />
<br />
Every morning you should ask yourself "What one thing could I do today that would make a positive difference in my life and the lives of those around me?" And then go out and do it. "ME" I hear you say "Me, little old me, how can I possibly make a difference. I am not important, or powerful, or rich, I am just an ordinary citizen struggling to make a living. How can I make a difference?"<br />
Well the very first thing that you should do is to change your attitude about yourself, because until you think that you are special you won't be. Until you can recognise the magnificent potential that is locked up in side you, strapped down by all those negative beliefs, you will not be able to release it and live to your full potential.<br />
The great tragedy of life is that so many people go to their graves with their lives unlived. They had dreams that they ne.ver acted on. They were too busy living the sort of life that was expected of them. They were so busy trying to please other people, often at the expense of their own desires, that they had no time for their own happiness.<br />
This you must know, there are people who love you, there are people who care about you but until you learn to love yourself, until you learn to care about yourself, until you learn to respect yourself, you will never truly appreciate the love, care and respect of others.<br />
You have the greatest power of any living thing on this planet. You have the power of choice. You have the power to chose how to behave, what to say and when to say it. You have the power to control your attitude. You have the power to make a difference.<br />
You have the power to choose whether your words build or break. You can choose whether your contribution is constructive or destructive. You can choose whether your influence is positive or negative.<br />
Choose to make difference. Choose to look for the positive in all things and if you really cannot find something positive to say or do, then rather do and say nothing. What ever you do, do not add to the negative. Choose to be a centre of certainty in an uncertain world. Choose to create a climate of hope and enthusiasm in yourself and the people around you.<br />
Realise that you do not have to do something earth shattering to make a difference. It's the little things that often have the greatest impact. A smile, a friendly word, a compliment, a helping hand, a sympathetic ear, these are the things that you can do every day and the only cost is that you put your ego in your pocket for a while and you give your attention to the other person's feelings.<br />
Learn to get your satisfaction from helping others to feel better about themselves and their lives. Have the courage, because you love and respect yourself and you realise that you are a wonderful person, to reach out to others confident and secure in your own strength.<br />
When you were born you were given the gift of life, may to-day be the day that you accept that gift. Realise that you were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success and endowed with the seeds of greatness. Strip off your suit of worry and despair, put on the armour of belief and enthusiasm then march boldly into life. Take no timid steps, think no timid thoughts. Dare to become all you are capable of becoming.<br />
<br />
Dare to "Change your life from making a living to making a difference."<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-19198641268229206722011-11-12T21:40:00.001-08:002011-11-12T22:27:55.090-08:005 Things You Can Start Doing Today to Change Your Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“</em><em>Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you
have to do.”</em><br />
<strong>Denis Waitley</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll
probably never do much of anything.”</em><br />
<strong>Win Borden</strong><br />
Perhaps the most important thing you can do to improve your life is simply to
do things. To take action and learn along the way.<br />
Here are five suggestions for “do-habits” that are very helpful to adopt to
radically improve your life.<br />
<strong>1. Do it first thing in the morning.</strong><br />
How you start your day tends to have a big influence on that day. It sets the
context in your mind. I believe that one key to better consistency and
improvement in your life is what you do early in the day. Two ways to get a good
start to your day are these:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Do the hardest/ most important/ most uncomfortable thing first in
your day. </strong>If you start your day by doing it you will feel relieved. You
feel relaxed and good about yourself. And the rest of the day – and your to-do
list – tends to feel a lot lighter and easier to move through. It’s amazing what
difference this one action makes.
</li>
<li><strong>Start small.</strong> To get from a state where you just feel like
sitting on your chair and doing nothing much to one where you take action over
and over you can do this: start small. Getting started with your biggest task or
most difficult action may seem too much and land you in Procrastinationland. So
instead, start with something that doesn’t seem so hard. One of my favorites is
simply to take a few minutes to clean my desk. After that the next thing doesn’t
seem so difficult to get started with since I’m now in a more of a “take action”
kind of mode. Experiment with this one and the previous tip and see which one
that suits you the best. Or mix them up as you wish. </li>
</ul>
<strong>2. Do it one more time. </strong><br />
Don’t give up too soon. It is very easy to give into feeling that you done
something enough times and it will never work. You have tried it as many times
as you would expect people to do. But these expectations I believe are often a
bit unrealistic.<br />
Society, TV and advertising tell us that there is an almost instant solution
to any of our problems. You can easily lose 30 pounds within a month. Or with
little work and time invested have another extra 20 000 dollars in the bank.<br />
So it is not unreasonable to think that success will come quickly. But
instead of doing something as many times as you think others have done it, talk
to and read about people who have actually done what you want to do. This will
give you a more realistic picture of reality.<br />
Oftentimes you may have to do it more than one more time. But I have often
found that doing it just one more time, doing it that extra time even though you
may start to feel that this won’t work, can bring the results you want in many
cases. I actually feel a little bit of excitement sometimes when I feel like
giving up because then I remember that at this point success is often not that
far away.<br />
<strong>3. Do the unusual thing. </strong><br />
When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and
think. Then take the option that is and feels unusual for you.<br />
If you often back down just don’t for this one time. If you are often get
into arguments with people then just this one time don’t and instead just let it
go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the opposite of what you usually
do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do something new
and something you wouldn’t expect from yourself.<br />
This is a fun a great way to get new experiences and learn things you
wouldn’t if you kept going like you usually do.<br />
Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the
life out of you. Doing the unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter
how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again.<br />
<strong>4. Do less.</strong><br />
How do you find time to do what you really want? How do you not get caught up
in minor tasks and fill you day with them?<br />
By setting limits. By being a bit ruthless and cutting down on the least
important stuff. At some point you will probably have to be honest with yourself
and realize that you can never fit all that you want into your day or week.
Something has to go. Not only because it takes up time. But also because you
only have so much energy, focus and creativity available during your day. If
spend it on the less important things then all of that will be gone each day
before you get to the big stuff.<br />
It may not be fun to give up a couple of those TV-shows or hanging out on
Facebook. But to make room for something new you sometimes have throw out a
couple of old things.<br />
<strong>5. Do your best.</strong><br />
Why should you do your best? Why not coast a bit and do just what is
expected?<br />
Three reasons:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>You get better results. </strong>Sometimes immediately. Often not
right away, but as all your awesome work adds up you start to see new and
exciting results.
</li>
<li><strong>You raise your self esteem.</strong> When you do what you think is
the right thing – like doing your best – then your self esteem goes up. If you
just coast then you tend to feel kinda lame about yourself. So do awesome work
and you feel awesome about yourself. Do ok work and feel ok about yourself.
</li>
<li><strong>Deservedness.</strong> When you feel awesome about yourself you do
also feel like you deserve more in life. So you go after it and you won’t
self-sabotage as much when opportunities pop up. </li>
</ul>
<i><br /></i></div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-79476156643522665042011-11-12T21:36:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:38:45.586-08:00How to Cut the Irrelevant Stuff Out of Your Life: 3 Helpful Questions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
“I’ll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.”<br />
“I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.”<br />
“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”<br />
I’m guessing Muhammad Ali doesn’t need a long introduction. As an amateur he won the Olympic Gold. He then went on to become a three-time World Heavyweight Champion.<br />
And in 1999, Sports Illustrated and the BBC named him as “the Sportsman of the Century”.<br />
But what can we learn from one of the best boxers of all time?<br />
Well, here are five tips from Muhammad Ali on how to break through the barriers in the world and in your mind.<br />
1. Take a risk.<br />
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”<br />
To get what you really want you will pretty much always have to take risks. Of course, that can be scary.<br />
So how can you overcome this, take a leap and take the risk? I don’t have some simple and easy solution. But I do have a few tips.<br />
Really, really want it. When you really want it simply becomes easier to push through the inner resistance you feel. You are so motivated to achieve whatever it is you want that the risk may be scary but smaller than your desire.<br />
Ask yourself: what’s the worst that could happen? We often build big, negative fantasies in our heads of what may happen if we do something. Huge scary monsters. But probably 90 percent of what you fear never comes into reality. This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.<br />
Detach from the outcome. When you are actually doing and taking the risk in real-time detach from the outcome. Just focus on what’s in front of you. Things will become easier. You’ll create less inner anxiety and pressure for yourself. And you will perform better because you are totally focusing on what’s right in front of you and not weighing yourself down with a lot of self-created negativity and doubts.<br />
Every time you take the leap and take a risk – even if things might not go your way that time – you can build confidence in yourself. By getting more experiences where you took action instead of sitting on your hands it will over time becomes easier to start moving in the direction you desire and take a chance.<br />
2. Steer clear of self-sabotage and creating inner obstacles.<br />
“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”<br />
This is a big problem because often you don’t even know that you are for example self-sabotaging. You think that the thought loops that spinning around in your head is reality. But you can’t predict the future. But you are so stuck in your thoughts that you believe them as if they where the absolute truth.<br />
Again, one way to gain a sober perspective is to ask: what’s really the worst that could happen? And then you can make a plan to handle that worst case scenario if it were to come into reality.<br />
Another important thing here is to do what you think is the right thing in life as much as you can. Why? Because when you do that you start to build an image of yourself as someone who deserves the good things that come to him/her. Self-sabotage comes from thinking that you on some level simply aren’t worthy of what you want. So you sabotage for yourself along the way to get yourself back into the place or level of success you feel you deserve. So you have to make yourself feel more deserving.<br />
Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. But you choose to go and work out instead of lying on the couch and watching TV. You choose to be kind instead of petty or judgemental. You choose to take a chance instead of not taking it. And a lot of the time you might not do the right thing. But by just increasing the number of times you do it during your week little by little you can really change how you view yourself. And over time this habit can become stronger and stronger.<br />
Now, another essential thing to avoid self-sabotage and creating mind-monsters is this…<br />
3. Keep your self-talk positive.<br />
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”<br />
“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.”<br />
“I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.”<br />
If you are always negative and down on yourself it will be a lot more painful and sometimes pretty much impossible to achieve what you want. Keeping the self-talk in your head positive is essential. You can make that easier to by following the tips above.<br />
Another helpful thing is just to be mindful of how you think about things. To say “Stop!” and cut off negative thought threads before they become strong. Just cut them off as often as you alert enough to do so. And replace them with more positive thought spirals by asking yourself questions like “What’s awesome about this?” and “What can I learn from this?”.<br />
Keeping your self talk positive may seem cheesy or uncool. But beating yourself up all the time is far worse and really not helping you at all.<br />
Plus, the thing is that your self-talk is contagious. Because how you talk to yourself affects how you feel. And as we know from bumper stickers, enthusiasm (and any other feeling) is contagious. And as we know from Ali, this self-talk can also start to seep out into what you say out loud too.<br />
As you interact with people, there is always a social feedback loop. People tend to treat you as you see yourself and as a reaction to how you make them feel. Someone with very positive self-talk will probably be perceived as confident and positive and therefore be treated a certain way. Someone who thinks s/he is a loser and is always down on him/herself may be met with sympathy but also irritation or simply that people tend to avoid that person.<br />
And since people and support is essential to just about any success you may desire your self-talk – and how you talk out loud – becomes very important.<br />
Now, the social feedback loop is about what you really feel about yourself. Not that you repeat affirmations all day that you don’t believe in. So you need to start doing the right thing too, because positive real-life experiences have a deeper impact on how you feel about yourself than just making the self-talk more positive. At least in my experience.<br />
4. Don’t make a big deal out of it.<br />
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”<br />
So you create a more positive self-image by doing the right thing and keeping your self-talk more positive. But it’s also a good thing to not go overboard. To not grow a huge ego and come off as arrogant or well, like a jerk.<br />
This may be a bit counter-intuitive but not making a big deal out of what you are good at have some big benefits.<br />
Less defensiveness and negativity. I could for instance create a big ego around the fact that I have many readers on this blog. And that would feel awesome for a while. But sooner or later my head would become too big and I would come off in negative way. And if people would question what I am saying I would start to feel more and more threatened and nervous. Because I would have a big image to live up to and defend each day. I think it’s a lot easier to keep the self-talk positive but also just be a guy who knows some stuff, has done some things and write about all of that.<br />
Makes the doing easier and more enjoyable. If you think it’s a big deal then it becomes a big deal. And things become unnecessarily hard and complicated. You start to create monsters in your mind again. Your ego may want you to think that it’s big, big deal because it means that you are a big, big deal too. That effect is enjoyable but makes the doing harder and less fun after a while as the inner pressure starts to ramp up.<br />
5. Use your emotional leverage to succeed.<br />
“Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.”<br />
If you are here or have an interest in personal development then you have probably hit a point sometime in your past where you said “Enough of this! Something has to change”. Or you felt like you hit rock bottom. Now that isn’t fun. But as Ali says, it’s also there you can find that extra motivation and power to push through.<br />
If you were unhealthy and overweight you feel like you never want to go back to that again. If you didn’t get anything done, procrastinated all day and felt like crap you don’t want to go back to that. If you were buried in a mountain of debt you want to never go back to that place or headspace again.<br />
When you have had enough you will find a way to change your life. And I’m not saying that you should be driven by a fear to never return back to where you were. But to simply remind yourself of how it where back then when things get tough. And realize that yes, it may be hard right now. But it is temporary. And it’s definitely better than it used to be.<br />
Your worst times may not be fun at all when they are happening. But later on they can be some of the most helpful and powerful experiences of your life<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-63526894164476578882011-11-12T21:32:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:32:53.287-08:00Six Fundamentals of an Optimistic Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the
opportunity in every difficulty.”</em><strong>Winston Churchill</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today
and make a new ending.”</em><br /><strong>Maria Robinson</strong><br />
<em>“It’s better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist
who is always right.”</em><br /><strong>Unknown</strong><br />
Negative thinking can poison what – from the outside – looks like a pretty
good life with opportunities. Pessimism can create ceilings and walls made out
of glass where there really are none.<br />
With such forces controlling your inner life your outer life tends to stand
pretty still. Your time here waste away. It’s a terrible thing.<br />
But you can change. I have. And in this article I’ll share six fundamentals
that have been essential for me to make that mental change.<br />
These are things that actually work in real life to change how you view
things. However, just knowing these things won’t change your thinking. You have
to practice them and fail from time to time and then get back up again and keep
using them until they become new habits of thinking.<br />
<strong>Focus on what you want.</strong><br />
What do you think about most of the time? Your troubles and worries? If that
is the case, if you spend your attention on focusing on what you don’t want then
it’s easy to feed the negativity monster in your mind with more energy and to
get stuck in analysis paralysis.<br />
But if you instead spend most of your time thinking about what you want out
of life in various areas then you become more focused. Your mind starts to spit
out solutions to your obstacles. You feel like taking action to start moving
step by step towards your goals.<br />
So focus on what you want. Post reminders on post-its and whiteboards in your
surroundings to keep your attention where it needs to be. Write down your goal
and focus single-mindedly to taking yourself towards it. Ask yourself questions
that helps you find the useful and positive such as:<br />
What’s awesome about this situation?<br />And what is the hidden opportunity in
this situation?<br />
<strong>Be grateful for what you got.</strong><br />
What you want is something out there in the future. But it is also important
to view what you have in the right way to keep an optimistic viewpoint.<br />So
appreciate the little and big things in life you have instead of focusing too
much on what you don’t have.<br />
Ask yourself: what can I be grateful for in my life right now?<br />
When I ask myself that question I often come up with simple answers such as
the roof over my head, the delicious food on my table, having the opportunity to
sleep in and the people closest to me.<br />
<strong>Avoid negative generalizations. </strong><br />
Negative generalizations about life can really wreck your outlook.<br />
If you for example run into an obstacle or problem then the negative thinker
may generalize this as something that is just there and will continue to stay
there. While the optimistic thinker views the obstacle as something temporary
that can be overcome by taking action (even if that also means failing and
learning a few things along the way).<br />
If the negative thinker runs in criticism then s/he may generalize this as
something personal, like the other person is out to get him/her and that s/he is
somehow a bad or generally an incompetent person just because this piece of
criticism.<br />
The optimistic thinker on the other hand will keep some distance to the
criticism. S/he thinks that the piece of criticism may be valid for this area of
life rather than saying something about everything (if the criticism is about
not being on time for meetings at work then that is the issue that needs to be
corrected, it does not mean a bad performance in all areas of that job).<br />
The optimistic thinker also keeps in mind that criticism may sometimes not be
valid but will arise because the other person has had a bad day, is irritated
about something else or hates some part of his or her own life.<br />
<strong>Shape the input.</strong><br />
If you let pessimistic and negative thinking into your mind then it will be
pretty much impossible to stay optimistic about life.<br />
So shape the input.<br />
Take a closer look at what movies, TV, news, books and music you consume and
how they affect you. Look at how the people closer to you too such as friends
and family affect your thoughts.<br />
Then take action to reduce or cut out the most negative sources as best you
can and replace that void in your life with more time with the positive
influences.<br />
<strong>Set the context for your day.</strong><br />
What you do early in the day often sets the context for that day. A good
start leads to good day and a bad start to a bad day.<br />
Some suggestions that will help you to set the positive context for the
day:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Spend a few minutes in the morning on thinking about what you want
and your goals.</strong> This sends you off to highly motivated and focused day.
</li>
<li><strong>Spend a few minutes being grateful for what you got.</strong> This
sets you up for a positive mood throughout the day.
</li>
<li><strong>Exercise.</strong> This will help you release inner tensions and
worry and fill the space they occupied within you with new energy.
</li>
<li><strong>Do the most important thing first.</strong> This is how I start my
day. Today I woke up and did my usual morning ritual that ends with doing the
most important thing on my to-do list. And so I started to write this article.
This not only makes sure that the most important thing gets done each day. It
also makes me feel good about myself and makes the rest of the to-do list feel
lighter to move through. </li>
</ul>
So make an effort early in the day. It really pays off even if you may not
always feel like it just after breakfast.<br />
<strong>Be good and kind to yourself.</strong><br />
How you view yourself and treat yourself has a huge impact on how you view
the world around you and interact with it.<br />
You are at the centre of your world and if you like yourself and are good to
yourself then it becomes a lot easier to thinking optimistically about your
future and the world around you.<br />
Here are a few of the best ways to be good and kind to yourself:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Do the right thing. D</strong>o what you deep down think is the
right thing as much as you can – but accept that you will never be able to do it
all the time – to increase your self-esteem and your sense of the things you
deserve in life.
</li>
<li><strong>Write down five things each night that you are grateful for about
yourself.</strong> Or appreciate yourself by doing a two minute exercise where
you just list small and big things about yourself that you like and good things
you have done. You can do this exercise in your mind or on a piece of paper.
These two self-appreciation exercises will help you create better thinking
habits. Because the more you do things like these, the more this kind of
thinking will naturally pop up in your everyday life too. You are changing how
you think about yourself and what you have a tendency to focus on (both in
yourself and in the world around you).
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t beat yourself up. </strong>It’s just a stupid habit and no one
will reward you for it. And it only makes it harder to improve since you will
probably start to procrastinate to avoid the pain of your own future
self-beatings for example. </li>
</ul>
<em>If you found this article helpful, please share it with someone on
Facebook, Twitter and Stumbleupon. Thank you very much! =)</em><br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-60058652694892165082011-11-12T21:31:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:32:05.955-08:00The Simple and Timeless Guide to Creating Your Own Good Luck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“I
never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings,
and strictly honest who complained of bad luck.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Henry
Ward Beacher</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“We
must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t
like?”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Jean
Cocteau</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Many
an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf
clovers.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Unknown</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Luck.
Some hope for more of it. Some don’t believe in it. Some think that everyone but
themselves are lucky.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
But
can you create more of your own good luck in life? Here are a few timeless
thoughts on that topic.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Work
hard. Be proactive.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“I’m
a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more luck I
have.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Thomas
Jefferson</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“To
hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Bruce
Lee</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
This
is in my experience very true. The more I work, the more I take chances and am
proactive in life the more times I tend to be lucky.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Just
sitting around and waiting for some good luck to land in your lap tends to be a
pretty bad strategy. Creating your own opportunities and taking massive action
simply gives you more of most things. Even luck.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Also,
the more you practice the more you improve a deciding factor like your
intuition. A better gut feeling can result in more good decisions that may seem
lucky from an outside perspective.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Be
prepared.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Luck
is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Seneca</strong></div>
<em>“One-half of life is luck; the other half is discipline – and that’s the
important half, for without discipline you wouldn’t know what to do with
luck.”</em><strong>Carl Zuckmeyer</strong><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Now
you that you have spotted an opportunity, what to do? Exactly.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
It’s
a great idea to have an idea about how you can use an opportunity in a way
benefits you. If you are unprepared both then it’s easy to fumble away half of
your lucky moments.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
So,
read. Talk about what you want with others that have more experience and
knowledge than you. Ask them a lot of questions. Practice, educate yourself and
<a href="http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/art-of-relaxed-productivity/">form
effective habits</a> so that you are ready to make good and useful decisions and
put in the hard and focused work when the opportunity arises.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Luck
may often just be the golden rule.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Your
luck is how you treat people.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Unknown</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
As
you treat someone else she or he will feel like treating you. Maybe not today or
tomorrow. But over time these things have a way of evening out.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
So
what looks like someone being lucky a lot from an outside perspective may just
be he or she using the golden rule in a helpful way.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Being
unlucky can be a sort of luck for you too.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Luck
never made a man wise.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Seneca</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“All
of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck –
who keeps right on going – is the man who is there when the good luck comes –
and is ready to receive it.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Robert
Collier</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Each
misfortune you encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good
luck.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Og
Mandino</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Having
some bad luck can in many ways be a good thing too.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
When
things are rough but you somehow get through them you tend to gain strength and
perhaps a bit of wisdom and perspective on life. It may not have been fun. But
those gains can be very helpful in the future.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
I
think that things do often balance out over time. You have a bad meeting, date,
day or even week. But, in my experience at least, then you often have something
good happen or you get a lucky break the next day or week. Of course, in that
situation it is important to be attentive and not still be focusing on that
negative situation in the past.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
The
important thing is to keep going through ups and downs. The worst thing is when
you just go passive and don’t do anything. Because then nothing seems to happen
in a good long while.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
I
also find it useful to ask helpful questions when having a “negative situation”.
Question like these:</div>
<ul style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 1.57em 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">What
is the good thing about this?
</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">What
can I learn from this?
</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">What
hidden opportunity can I find within this situation? </li>
</ul>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
At
first it might seem stupid to ask such a thing when having a bad
day/meeting/test in school or date. But after a while you get used to it and
your mind even starts to do it automatically from time to time.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Another
important benefit of having some bad luck is what Robert Collier mentions above.
When the good luck comes you are ready to recieve it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
You
feel that after that bad luck you actually deserve your lucky break. This ties
into hard work too. When you feel you have deserved your lucky break then you
will have no or less problem with taking it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
There
will be less self sabotage. There will be less situations where you start
telling yourself that you can’t handle it or don’t deserve it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
You
just go for it. And by having kept on going through the rough times you have
gained strength and wisdom that will enable you to make the best out of this new
and lucky situation.</div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-51830486513493740502011-11-12T21:19:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:20:20.472-08:005 Reasons to Slow Down Your Life Today, and How to Do It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”</em><br /><strong>Jim
Goodwin</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”</em><br /><strong>Lily
Tomlin</strong><br />
<em>“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to
fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and
why.”</em><br /><strong>Eddie Cantor</strong><br />
The world is moving at breakneck speed. Information is overflowing 24 hours a
day. At work or in school we are busy, busy, busy. Lunch is wolfed down. When we
get home there is still so much to do, so much we want before finally falling
into the bed.<br />
Sometimes this works fine. Sometimes this can cause problem, feelings like
it’s all just too much and like you are not in control.<br />
So I like to slow things down.<br />
In this article I would like to explain why and how to do it practically.<br />
If you are feeling like your speed in life is causing difficulties try one or
a few of these things and see how they work for you.<br />
<strong>1. You can lose or maintain weight.</strong><br />
It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full.
That’s because the food has to reach the intestines before your body starts
sending signals telling your brain that you feel full. By slowing down your
eating your brain can stop you before you eat too much.<br />
I have found that that if I eat too fast then I usually eat about 15-25% more
before I feel full. If you do this every day of the week those extra calories
can quickly add up.<br />
<strong>How to slow down: </strong><br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Eat before you get ridiculously hungry. </strong>If you’re really
hungry it will be hard to eat slowly. The best way to avoid this is to not wait
for too long but to eat when you feel just a little hungry. Or to have your
meals at specified times during the day that you know from experience will be
appropriate to avoid getting too hungry.
</li>
<li><strong>Put down your fork between the bites. </strong>The classic advice is
to put down your fork and then chew. Then to pick up your fork again after
you’ve swallowed, take another bite and repeat the process. I like this tip
because it forces you to slow down. Instead of taking that stressed energy from
your day and just letting it power through the meal too as you quickly wolf down
everything on your plate.
</li>
<li><strong>Focus on the food and yourself.</strong> Not on what other people
are doing.It’s easy to get drawn into someone else’s pace while eating (just
like when driving or running). Be conscious of keeping your own pace instead of
just unconsciously eating as fast as everyone around the table might do.
</li>
</ul>
<strong>2. You can lower your stress levels.</strong><br />
When you feel like life is going to fast then you feel like you are losing
control over it or barely hanging on. This, as you also probably have noticed,
can cause a lot of unnecessary stress.<br />
<strong>How to slow down: </strong>Simply do the things you are doing slower.
If you are moving quickly then just take a deep breath and slow down your
movement and your pace when walking. Drive your car and ride your bike a little
slower. As mentioned above, eat slower. Take in life around you a bit instead of
focusing on setting a new speed record.<br />
<strong>3. You can gain clarity and find and do what is most
important.</strong><br />
As everything moves a bit too fast it is easy to get lost. If you don’t think
about what you are doing then you can easily get lose half your work day doing
busywork. You mind just think “Hurry, hurry, hurry! What is the next thing?”
instead of “What is the best use of my time and energy?”<br />
<strong>How to slow down: </strong>When I get lost in such frantic and
stressful activity I take a deep breath. I just take in my surroundings for a
minute or two to relax and reconnect with this present moment. Then I ask
myself:<br />
What is the most important thing I can do right now?<br />Or I ask myself: If I
only had two hours to work today then what would I spend those two hours working
on?<br />
As you take a breath, slow down and reconnect with what is most important a
calm and focused energy and effectiveness replaces the frantic and stressed
energy of a mind that is going too fast for its own good. Then you can take
action and start doing the most important things one at a time.<br />
This is not only helpful for daily decisions but for bigger decisions too. As
you slow down it becomes easier to find a healthy perspective and to think
things through in a clear and calm way.<br />
<strong>4. You can get new ideas and let creativity flow again.</strong><br />
If your mind is constantly bombarded with new information, voices and sounds
then it will be very hard to find room for creativity and for getting new ideas.
Influences are good for creativity but a overload of input just makes you feel
like your mind is overstuffed and like you are just trying to keep up with it
all.<br />
So you may need to slow down and free up some space in that mind.<br />
<strong>How to slow down: </strong>Take a break. Or take a walk. Sit down in
nature and watch the ocean. Or take a shower. Or take a while to just lie down
on your bed and sofa and shut out the world for that time. Just be there without
much thought about what you want to do or about the past or future. Just relax
and be there and focus on the world around you.<br />
The thing is that when you don’t focus on needing new ideas or on needing to
be creative then your mind starts to relax and work on its own. And soon ideas
start to pop up out of nowhere in your mind. Just be sure to write them down
immediately as they can pass and disappear out into the world quickly again.<br />
<strong>5. You can connect with the present moment and just fully enjoy what
is happening right now.</strong><br />
When you are aligned with the present moment you tend to feel good and
relaxed. Your mood is optimistic. You do your work in a focused manner and the
social part of your life tends to go smoother and become more fun. You do things
well without having to think that much at all really. You are flowing.<br />
This is a wonderful headspace to spend as much of your week in as you can.
You feel and work better this way.<br />
This is also a good headspace to simply enjoy your life. It helps you
appreciate the little and big things in life fully because you are fully there
when they happen instead of planning for the future or reliving the past
so intensely that you can’t fully appreciate and enjoy a meal, a conversation
with a friend or a walk by the ocean.<br />
<strong>How to slow down:</strong><br />
I usually just slow down what I am doing and go to a full stop. Then I take
in my surroundings fully as they are happening right now for a minute or
two.<br />
I listen to the cars going by the house. I watch my desktop and the glass of
water next to it. I may look out the window and see blue sky, the white snow and
the cold air outside standing still. I feel the slight chilliness of the floor,
the warmth in the air in this room and I feel the cold water in my mouth as I
take a sip.<br />
This is all I focus on as I slow down my day for a few minutes to move out of
confusion, stress and daydreaming and into this moment. It may sound a bit odd
but it makes a world of difference.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-78559526393709368592011-11-12T21:16:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:19:13.874-08:00How to Bridge the Distance Between You and Someone Else<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
Today I would like to share three of my favorite tips for making it easier to establish a relationship with someone. Maybe in a new class. On a date. At work or in a job interview. Or at some party next weekend.<br />
Assume rapport.<br />
This one can work quickly. That is, if you can suspend your disbelief for while and keep your mind open. It won’t work if you don’t think it will work.<br />
So, what is assuming rapport?<br />
Basically, instead of going into a conversation or meeting nervously and thinking “how will this go?” you take different approach. You assume that you and the person(s) will establish a good connection (rapport).<br />
How do you do that? Just before the meeting, you just think/pretend that you’ll be meeting a good friend. Then you’ll naturally slip into a more comfortable, confident and enjoyable emotional state and frame of mind. In this state of mind the conversation tends to flow more naturally too, without much thinking. Just like with your friends.<br />
I have used this small tip many dozens of times by now and have found it surprisingly useful and easy to implement. It’s a sort of variation of acting as you would like to feel.<br />
This tip also helps you and the other people to set a good frame for the interaction. A frame is always set at the start of an interaction. It might be a nervous and stiff frame, a formal and let’s-get-to-the-point kind of frame or perhaps a super relaxed one. The thing is that the frame that is set in the beginning of the conversation is often one that may stay on for a while. First impressions can last for quite some time.<br />
Now, meeting your best friend might not always be the best thing to think about before a meeting at school/work. In that case you may want to try to imagine a similar meeting that went well and your interactions with the people there.<br />
But what if you come off as a weird person? Well, that is always a risk in the beginning when you start using this tip. But I believe that most of the time such thoughts are only in your head. No one likes awkward and uncomfortable interactions. So if you just assume rapport immediately then most people that may have been nervous/felt awkward will adapt to your more comfortable and relaxed frame.<br />
This is also a quick way to reconnect with the mental and emotional state your friends might be referring to when they give you the classic advice to “just be yourself”.<br />
See yourself in other people.<br />
“Who sees all beings in his own self, and his own self in all beings, loses all fear.”<br />
Isa Upanishad, Hindu Scripture<br />
The ego wants to divide your world. It wants to create barriers, separation and loves to play the comparison game. The game where people are different compare to you, the game where you are better than someone and worse than someone else. All of that creates fear in social situations. Doing the opposite removes fear.<br />
That there is no real separation between beings, that we are one and the same, might sound a bit corny.<br />
But one thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend. You do this practically by using the previous tip.<br />
Another idea is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet.<br />
As I mentioned above, there is pretty much always a frame set in any interaction. It may make you and the others feel awkward or comfortable. But underlying such feelings is a frame of mind.<br />
Either it asks us how we are different from this person. Or how we are the same as this person. The first frame is based in how the ego likes to judge people and create separation to strengthen itself (either through feeling better or more like a victim). The second one creates warmth, an openness and curiosity within. There is no place to focus on fear or judgement anymore.<br />
Practise.<br />
Although the two ideas above can be very useful, the most important thing – as with anything – is practise. By doing things and learning from mistakes, failures and successes you can improve any part of your life. Your social skills too.<br />
But just reading some tips will not magically improve any of your skills or transform you in some way. You do that yourself by being patient and persistent.<br />
One interesting thing I have discovered after having been interested in personal development, positive thinking etc. for a few years now is that over time you can improve what may be called emotional and mental flexibility.<br />
What I mean by that is that you don’t become so identified with your current thoughts and emotions. You realize that they are just there right now but will not be there forever. You stop being so reactive to what happens in your surroundings and stop thinking that you need to feel/think a specific way in a specific situation.<br />
What you feel and think becomes more of a choice. Just like you can choose to turn right or left while walking. I don’t use assuming rapport in the way I mentioned above that much anymore. I have slipped into that emotional state so many times by now I can just recall how it feels to be relaxed and comfortable and choose to put myself in that state. It doesn’t work all the time of course, but most of the time it does.<br />
But if you have been totally identified with your feelings and thoughts for decades then it can be hard snap out of that. Choosing how you think and feel may sound kinda stupid or impossible.<br />
That is why you need to practise. To convince itself and to silence your inner doubts your mind needs proof that this stuff actually works for you. The proof is the experiences you have.<br />
And by practise I mean using, for example, assuming rapport a couple of dozen times. Not two or three times.<br />
By being open and believing that this stuff works and by practising it over and over – just like a tennis serve – it become easier and easier to do it<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-70266970300061011202011-11-12T21:15:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:16:27.642-08:00How to Spread Positivity in Your World Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>You must be the change you want to see in the world.”</em><br /><strong>Mahatma
Gandhi</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“Though I might travel afar, I will meet only what I carry with me, for
every man is a mirror. We see only ourselves reflected in those around us. Their
attitudes and actions are only a reflection of our own. The whole world and its
condition has its counter parts within us all. Turn the gaze inward. Correct
yourself and your world will change.”</em><br /><strong>Kirsten
Zambucka</strong><br />
Improving your attitude and living a more positive life overall can take a
lot of time and effort. But a part of it can also be simple. You can spread
positivity around you with small actions.<br />
This will not only make you and other people feel better today. Over time you
tend to get what you give. You will make it easier for yourself to live a more
positive life in the long run too.<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Smile.</strong> Smiling puts you and the people around you into a
more positive mood. It even works when you don’t feel much like smiling. Just
try forcing a smile for 30 seconds if you are feeling a bit negative and see
what happens.
</li>
<li><strong>Give a genuine compliment. </strong>Compliments are awesome. But
make it a genuine one. Make sure you really mean it or it may have the opposite
effect as your insincerity shines through. Find something a bit unexpected –
like great taste in old soul music rather than looks – and something that is
important to the other person and make a positive, appreciative comment about
that.
</li>
<li><strong>Hugs.</strong> A hug is, just like smiling, a simple physical thing
that can make anyone feel a little better. People love hugs.
</li>
<li><strong>Encourage someone.</strong> There is much discouragement in the
world. You may hear from people around you, you may receive much negativity from
the TV and newspapers. Many will back down from doing something they want
because of that atmosphere of discouragement. So instead, be an exception and
encourage people to believe in themselves and what they want to do.
</li>
<li><strong>Change the way you feel.</strong> Emotions are contagious. So to
spread positivity, know how you can create and sustain a positive attitude and
optimistic mood. Know how to pick yourself up out of slumps. Besides smiling,
you can also appreciate life more, change your physiology, act as you would like
to feel, ask better questions and recall positive memories to make a quick
emotional shift. Read
all about those things in this article.
</li>
<li><strong>Help someone out in practical way. </strong>Maybe it’s not
encouragement that is needed. Maybe it’s a practical solution. So lend someone a
hand when they are moving. Or give them a ride in your car. Or if they need
information, try to find a solution via Google or by asking the people you know.
</li>
<li><strong>Just listen.</strong> Sometimes people don’t want any help. They
just want to vent or for someone to listen as they figure out things. It may not
seem like much but it can be an immense help for someone who needs it. So be
there fully – don’t sit there thinking about something else – and listen.
</li>
<li><strong>Put things into perspective.</strong> It’s easy to get wrapped up in
a problem and to make a mountain out of a molehill. But you can help out by
adding your perspective. The two of you can talk about it, perhaps laugh about
it and even find the hidden opportunity within the problem that in one person’s
head may have almost seemed like the sky was falling.
</li>
<li><strong>Play positive music.</strong> Uplifting music is of course a great
way to boost your own mood. You can do the same for people around you. Put on a
really positive song when you are hanging out. Or send them an uplifting
playlist for Spotify or a link to a video on Youtube.
</li>
<li><strong>Perform a random act of kindness.</strong> Just holding up the door
or pointing out the way for someone who seems lost can be a way to spread a
little bit of positivity. It’s always nice when someone you don’t even know does
something kind for you.
</li>
<li><strong>Pay it forward. </strong>If a friend or stranger spreads a bit of
positivity to you then in some way pay it forward. Spread the positivity on to
another person and let an upward spiral of positivity grow and expand in your
world. </li>
</ul>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-31791615034008865072011-11-12T21:13:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:13:34.627-08:00Four Timeless Thoughts on the Most Optimistic of Seasons<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of
slush.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Doug
Larson</strong>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“An
optimist is the human personification of spring.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Susan
J. Bissonette</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Spring
is finally here in Sweden. Well, kinda. I guess it’s more of a feeling of spring
in the way that Doug Larson so awesomely points out in the quote above.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
But
still. After an unusually long and very cold winter it’s great to have some
warmth, a few birds singing and see more smiling and enthusiastic faces as you
walk the streets.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
So
I thought I’d share a few of my favorite sayings about spring that can help us
to make this year the best one yet.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Make
decisions at the right time.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“Never
cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low
time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods.
Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Robert
H. Schuller</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
I
think this is a very good tip and something I wish I had thought about a few
times in the past. When you are in the low time or a bad mood you can’t really
see reality in an accurate way. Making important or negative decisions when you
are in that headspace isn’t a good idea.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Nowadays
I have a learned to just be still and wait out those angry clouds. Even if it
feels like there is an urgent decision to be made (which isn’t always the case
even though your clouded mind may fool you into believing that).</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Then,
when the mind is clearer it becomes a lot easier to make a good decision.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Be
consistent to get some real results.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“One
swallow does not make a spring, nor does one fine day.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Aristole</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
To
live a happier life and make a real change you can’t just take action or do
things on a day when you feel inspired. Sure, the spring may give you a boost of
energy and inspiration right now.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
But
what will you do with that? Just surf on those good feelings for a day or a
week? Or let it be a start to consistently taken action each day, even if that
inspiration and initial enthusiasm may dissipate (which it pretty much always
does)?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
To
take action more consistently here are a two of my absolute favorite tips:</div>
<ul style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 1.57em 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<li style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong>Use
a morning ritual.</strong> I have mentioned this many times, both in my e-books
and in various articles. The reason for that is that this is perhaps the most
powerful tip I have found so far in this area. You simply set up a ritual in the
morning that you do as soon as you wake up. This works so well because what you
do early in the day often sets the context for your day. As humans we have a
strong tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s
one big reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often
leads to a good day. Read all about my and other people’s morning rituals in this
article.
</li>
<li style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong>Don’t
hurt yourself.</strong> This is a very important reason for me. When you
disappoint yourself and don’t think and do as you really deep down want to you
hurt yourself by lowering your self esteem. Whatever you do during your day
sends signals back to yourself about what kind of person you are. Do the right
thing like being effective, kind or go to the gym and you feel good. Get lazy,
negative or just plain mean and you tend to feel worse after a while. You don’t
get away, there is no escaping yourself. And there is always a price to pay.
This is a powerful motivator to become a better person. </li>
</ul>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Keep
going.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“No
winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Hal
Borland</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Persistence
might not exactly be the sexiest sounding quality. It might not sell a lot of
products to people looking for the magic pill. But it is an immensely helpful
quality to cultivate and put to use.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
If
you fail, what do you do? You dust yourself off, learn what you can from what
happened and try again. If the success you are looking for won’t come that
quickly – a pretty likely scenario – then you have to persist.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Persistence
is one of the most useful qualities one can have. Not only because you will
still be out there in a less competitive playing field as a lot of other people
have given up and gone home. But also because developing persistence will enable
you to get what you want. It may just take a little longer than had hoped for.
But if you keep going, if you refine your approach based on what you learn from
experience and other sources then better times will come.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Winter
makes the spring so much better.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<em>“If
we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes
taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”</em><br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Anne
Bradstreet</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
The
winter of life is often in retrospect a gift. It makes you stronger. More
empathetic and understanding. It helps you out in some way and guides you. You
can always look back at it when you feel down and be happy that you aren’t in
that place anymore.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Your
winter and adversities expands the spectrum of human experience, understanding
and emotions for you. Your capacity for genuine gratitude increases because of
it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
The
sad times make the happy times even sweeter.</div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-7164278651393488452011-11-12T21:12:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:12:50.700-08:00The Extremely Simple Guide to Handling the Overwhelm in 3 Quick Steps<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Life is often filled to the brim. There are many things to do and if you’re like
me I’m sure you feel overwhelmed and stressed out sometimes.
<br />
<br />
What to do then? Here’s what I do and the three simple steps I follow to go
from a stressed and overwhelmed headspace to one with clarity, calmness and a
sense of direction within minutes.<br />
<strong>1. I reconnect with the present moment.</strong><br />
When you feel overwhelmed you are stuck in your mind, you are stuck on all
the things you have done and all the things you have to do today and perhaps
even this week and month.<br />
No wonder you feel overwhelmed and stressed out. So when I feel this way I
reconnect with the present moment. I just focus on my breathing for two minutes.
Just the in- and outbreath and nothing else.<br />
Or I spend two minutes just taking in what is right here right now. The
computer in front of me. The sunlight through the window that warms me. The
buses and traffic going by outside and the clear blue sky. I use all my senses
to just focus on what is happening around me right now and nothing else.<br />
By doing so I align myself fully with what is happening right now instead of
being somewhere in the past or future or both of them inside my mind.<br />
Yes, I still have the same things to do. But the overwhelm that was is in my
mind because I was looking at things from a perspective that hurt me loses it’s
power.<br />
<strong>2. I ask myself: what is the most important thing I can do right
now?</strong><br />
Usually the answer is that I need to work on things that aren’t urgent but
very important such as a new digital product or looking at and starting to
explore new opportunities.<br />
<strong>3. I stop thinking and take action in a single-tasking
manner.</strong><br />
Then, when I have come up with the answer – usually by consulting my to-do
list on teuxdeux.com – I get to work. I do not think about it for a few minutes
since that only makes it harder to get started and I often wind up
procrastinating away much more than those few minutes.<br />
Instead I focus on just this one task I need to do. I take breaks every hour
but keep working on it by single-tasking until it is done. Then I start working
on the next task that is now the most important one.<br />
By doing so I use my work hours in the best way I can and I feel good about
myself and the work I have done at the end of the day.<br />
This little ritual of three habits can take some time to getting used to and
you’ll probably stumble. But after a while I noticed that it became more and
more automatic and I felt less inner resistance and could change gears from
overwhelmed to focused faster.<br />
So keep practicing even if you stumble. It usually takes at least a month to
establish a chain of habits/ritual like this and probably more than a month if
all three habits are brand new for you. Be patient with yourself.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-41153054902004757802011-11-12T21:11:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:12:04.491-08:00One Powerful Tip For When You Feel Like Giving Up on Your New Habit<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="hfeed" id="content">
<div class="post-3388 post hentry category-habits category-happiness category-relaxation category-success post_box top" id="post-3388">
<div class="format_text entry-content">
<br />
<em>“Good habits, once established are just as hard to break as are bad
habits.”</em><br /><strong>Robert Puller</strong><br />
Changing a habit can be hard. To make the habit stick you have to keep going
until it becomes not something you do through willpower but something you feel
drawn to doing. This can take 30 days or more of taking action each day.<br />
But we all have bad days. What do you do on such a day when you just feel
like giving up on creating this new habit?<br />
Here’s what I do.<br />
<strong>I say to myself: Just for today!</strong><br />
It is important to make yourself realize that the period that you are
investing in changing a habit is not the rest of your life.<br />
As mentioned above, if you do something every day for 30 days then that will
become a habit and you will feel drawn to doing it or just do it automatically.
So it is not about forcing yourself to do this thing on willpower for the next
few decades.<br />
Brian Tracy has a great little phrase that makes it easier to take action and
just focus on it for today. Tell yourself:<strong></strong><br />
“Just for today I will XX!”<br />
Replace XX with what you will do just for today such as getting exercise, get
going on the most important task first thing in the day or eating a healthy
lunch.<br />
You can take it one day at a time with this phrase until your habit becomes a
natural part of your life, until it becomes something you feel drawn to
doing.<br />
I myself don’t use it every day. But I find it very helpful on those days
when inner resistance causes me to not feel like continuing doing something
until it becomes a habit. Such days are pretty much inevitable.<br />
But by telling myself that I only have to do it today I release the mental
burden of the past times I did it and future times when I will do it. And so the
task becomes much lighter and the inner resistance melts away.<br />
And guess what, when tomorrow comes I’ll have a good day again with less
resistance and I will most likely feel like doing the task again. And that is
how I handle a bad day when I am changing a habit.<br />
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-31602041145066068782011-11-12T21:10:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:10:28.885-08:00How to Lift the Stress Out of Your Morning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders
and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a
new day, you shall begin it well and serenely…”</em><br /><strong>Ralph Waldo
Emerson</strong>
<br />
<br />
Another morning. Another day begins.<br />
You get up too early, stumble into the shower and in somewhat of a haze try
to get things together and get work or school on time.<br />
But by applying a few simple tips you can make not only the morning but the
whole day more relaxed and smooth.<br />
<ol>
<li><strong>Plan the night before.</strong> Choose the 2-3 most important tasks
and put them on a to-do list. By choosing just the most important stuff instead
of a dozen things you are less likely to start procrastinating or realize at the
end of the day that you filled it with less important tasks.
</li>
<li><strong>Pack your bag the night before.</strong> This very simple habit can
alleviate quite a bit of stress in the morning. If you pack your bag before you
go to bed then you don’t have to run around in your house half panicked tomorrow
while looking for your books or some important papers.
</li>
<li><strong>Make your lunch the night before.</strong> Pack the leftovers of
your dinner in a container and put it in the fridge. Just don’t forget to put it
in your bag in the morning. You may even want make an extra serving so you can
quickly heat up dinner when you get home from work/school. Doing this the night
before will save you a bit of time and possibly a bit of money.
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t forget to just relax.</strong> You can’t get much done if you
never get any rest and revitalization. Well, you can for a while but soon you’ll
start to feel run down, stressed out and fill up with all kinds of negative
emotions pretty much all the time. So take some time to just relax. Meditate in
one way or another. Take a warm bath. Take a walk in the woods. Listen to
relaxing music. Have some fun with friends and/or family. Release pressure,
stress and tension that can come from a hard day’s work so you don’t carry all
of that into the following morning.
</li>
<li><strong>Get enough sleep.</strong> It’s tempting to stay up a bit longer and
let the “morning-you” take care of the problems – I do for example become more
likely to revert to old behaviour patterns such as negativity and being easily
stressed – that come from lack of sleep. But be good to yourself at least some
days during the week. Go to bed a bit earlier and catch up on your sleep.
</li>
<li><strong>Use a morning ritual.</strong> What you do early in the day often
sets the context for your day. We have a tendency to want to be consistent with
what we have done before. So a morning ritual that sets the right tone for the
day can be a great start. I do for example get up and drink two glasses of
water, eat breakfast and drink a cup of yerba maté, brush my teeth, make the bed
and declutter for a few minutes. Then I prioritize the items on my to-do list
and get started with the most important task. Read more about my morning ritual
and the routines of many of the readers <a href="http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/05/28/one-simple-tip-to-help-you-start-your-day-in-a-better-way/">right
here</a>.
</li>
<li><strong>Keep everything in its place.</strong> If everything has its own
place then it is whole lot easier to keep your home reasonably ordered and
decluttered from day to day. And to find the keys as you are heading out the
door. </li>
</ol>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-41081214687481616572011-11-12T21:09:00.003-08:002011-11-12T21:10:01.844-08:00Abraham Lincoln’s Top 10 Fundamentals for Creating a Kick-Ass Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best that I always
plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would
grow.”</em>
<br />
<br />
<em>“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to
succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with
anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with
him when he goes wrong.”</em><br />
<em>“With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh
I should die.”</em><br />
Even if you are not an American – like me – you’ve probably still heard of
Abraham Lincoln. He was the president who introduced and worked on measures to
free the slaves and led the country through the Civil War. A war that had just
ended when Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth in Ford’s Theatre.<br />
But what can Abraham Lincoln help us with today? Well, here are 10 powerful
and timeless fundamentals. I hope you’ll find something helpful.<br />
<strong>1. See the positive in people.</strong><br />
<em>“If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely
will.”</em><br />
<em>“The way for a young man to rise is to improve himself in every way he
can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.”</em><br />
What you focus on you will find. In a situation, in a person. There is always
plenty of good things and plenty of bad things to discover.<br />
So you need to keep your focus steadily on what you want to find. Don’t let
it waver just because you are in a “negative” situation or someone just said/did
something “negative”. If your focus gets scattered, try to get it back into a
more useful place as quickly as you can.<br />
You can develop whatever view of the world and people that you like. You can
go looking for the negative in people and feel a short burst of good emotions as
find something negative about a person and feel like you are “right”.<br />
Or you can develop a habit of looking for the positive. A habit where you can
expect people to treat you in a positive way.<br />
Because we do to a large extent teach people how we want to be treated. If we
expect other people to help us and treat us well then they are more likely to do
so than if we are negative and expect to be treated poorly.<br />
This may sound a bit weird, but how we expect to be treated can have a big
effect on how the world sees us.<br />
<strong>2. Be honest.</strong><br />
<em>“No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.”</em><br />
This is a pretty practical thing. Being honest will for several reasons work
better in the long run. Of course, you don’t have to go out of your way to be
honest and hurt people though. You can just as well choose to be silent if you
like. Here are just a few practical reasons to minimize or just stop lying
altogether.<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Your words aren’t everything.</strong> Words are only a pretty small
part of communication. The rest are body language and your voice tonality. And
it’s through those channels that the real you will shine through. People will in
some way sense that something is wrong, that you aren’t being honest and
authentic if those other ways you communicate aren’t in alignment with your
words. So lying is just a short term solution. Sooner or later people will pick
up on it.
</li>
<li><strong>Poor self-image and stress.</strong> Cultivating a self-image as
someone who lies will make you feel worse about yourself. You’ll feel like a
fake and your self-esteem plummets. And if you on the other hand are honest you
don’t have to feel like someone that is trapped or on the high-wire all the
time.
</li>
<li><strong>People really appreciate authentic communication. </strong>What
separates people is to a large extent the walls that they build up between
themselves. When you put aside personas and lies you can build real connections
between you and other people. If you remove these walls of insulation then the
people or you are interacting with are likely to reciprocate. And so your
relationships can improve and are less likely to be damaged by miscommunication.
</li>
</ul>
<strong>3. Unite.</strong><br />
<em>“A house divided against itself cannot stand.”</em><br />
Ego excludes and divides. The ego loves to make someone “the other” to
strengthen its own power. It want’s to feel “more” than someone else. More
clever. Prettier. Cooler. Wiser. Or more like a victim.<br />
And by making the other even more wrong in your mind the ego grows stronger.
However, the ego boosts of good feelings are just temporary. You have to
reinforce them continually, just like a caffeine habit.<br />
Consciousness and intelligence includes and accepts. You don’t have to be
seduced by your ego’s wish to make people other than you. You can look at the
positive in them and at the things you agree about. And be accepting.<br />
When your thoughts are buzzing around in your head and telling you to exclude
or divide in some way then you most often are listening to your ego. It may tell
you that paragraphs just above this one are cheesy and stupid. You may not want
to take such thoughts too seriously. You don’t have to.<br />
The most useful advice I’ve found so far to get a handle on the need to
divide is to not identify so much with my thoughts or feelings. That doesn’t
mean that I stop thinking or feeling. It just means that I realize – and
remember in my everyday life – that the thoughts and emotions are just things
flowing through me. And that I am the consciousness observing them.<br />
When you realize and remember this it enables you to control the thoughts and
feelings instead of the other way around. It enables you to not take your
thoughts too seriously and actually laugh at them or ignore them when you feel
that your ego is acting out.<br />
When you are not being so identified these things you become more inclined to
include things, thoughts and people instead of excluding them. This creates a
lot of inner and outer freedom and stillness. Instead of fear, a need to divide
your world and a search for conflicts.<br />
<strong>4. Create a friend where there is none.</strong><br />
<em>“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”</em><br />
<em>“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”</em><br />
This is similar to tip #1 and # 3. But slightly different, seen from a
slightly different perspective. It is a helpful and a bit unusual way of looking
at people who you might perceive as different or other than yourself.<br />
Turning an enemy or someone we don’t like into a friend is difficult because
first impressions can be powerful. Our concept of a person can remain intact if
we don’t push further and question and explore. But if you get to know someone
better you can often find out quite a few positive and interesting things about
them. People are often more intriguing than your first impression of them.<br />
Of course, since the ego needs to tell you that you are right and someone
else is wrong then it can be hard to change your opinion of someone. That
opinion of him/her is tied up in your ego and fuels your sense of being “right”.
Again, the key and the way out here is to not take your thoughts or emotions too
seriously.<br />
This can allow you to open your mind to a change in the relationship.<br />
Now, how can you make him/her your friend? One suggestion would be to follow
tip # 1 and start looking for the positive in the person. Then to take the first
step and give some kind of value – like help for instance – to that person. And
then to take more steps if s/he is not convinced that you want to change the
relationship.<br />
<strong>5. Believe in and go after your own success.</strong><br />
<em>“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more
important than any one thing.”</em><br />
<em>“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who
hustle.”</em><br />
If you think you can succeed then you can. Your belief in your own ability to
succeed is essential and does not only motivate you to keep going.<br />
You may have heard that you have to believe that you can achieve something
to do it and that the how you will do it will then present itself along the way.
Well, that is true in my experience. Whatever you focus on persistently you will
find in your world. So be careful what you focus on. Remind yourself to keep
your focus on what you want to make solutions and people who can help you “pop
up” out of all those things and pieces of information that is the background
noise of your world.<br />
And don’t wait for too long. Procrastination may just leave you with the
crumbs or sometimes nothing really. Taking action is awesome. But taking action
with little delay will increase the probability of you actually getting what you
want before the window of opportunity closes.<br />
So develop a Just do it! habit. Learn to do some planning but then to take
action quickly despite what excuses or other negative things your thoughts and
emotions may put up in your way. Know that they may just want to protect you
from uncertainty and risks. But also know that you are in charge of them and not
the other way around.<br />
<strong>6. Persist.</strong><br />
<em>“Hold on with a bulldog grip, and chew and choke as much as
possible.”</em><br />
Persistence might not exactly be the sexiest sounding quality. It might not
sell a lot of products to people looking for the magic pill. But it is an
immensely helpful quality to cultivate and put to use.<br />
If you fail, what do you do? You dust yourself off and try again. If the
success you are looking for won’t come that quickly – a pretty likely scenario –
then you have to persist. Persistence may be one of the most useful qualities
one can have. Not only because you will still be out there in a less competitive
playing field as lot other people have given up and gone home. But also because
developing patience and being persistent will enable you to get what you want.
It may just take a little longer than had hoped for.<br />
<strong>7. Sharpen your ax.</strong><br />
<em>“If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six hours sharpening
my ax.”</em><br />
Instead of just starting to chop with a blunt blade for hours on end it’s a
whole lot smarter to first sharpen the blade and then take on the physically
harder task of bringing the tree down. This goes for everything.<br />
If you are prepared then it will often be a whole lot easier to get something
done. Sometimes it can be the thing that separates people that either keeps
chopping until they can’t take it anymore and give up and the people who could
get the job done.<br />
So success is not just about doing hard work. It’s also about sharpening your
ax at regular intervals and learning new and better ways to take down the trees
in your life. And it’s about remembering what trees you want to take down rather
than just any tree. However, you don’t want to get stuck in this stage and never
take action. As with all things, you have to find a balance by
experimenting.<br />
Four suggestions for sharpening your ax are:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Educate yourself.</strong> Do some research into the whatever you
want to achieve. Look for the most common mistakes and smart things people do.
Read books and online. Talk to people who have already been where you want to
go.
</li>
<li><strong>Do. Fail. Learn. Do. </strong>Knowledge from external sources is
great. But to really understand you have to do things. And learn from your own
failures and successes. And then do again with your new understanding in your
mind.
</li>
<li><strong>Manage your energy levels.</strong> You don’t just have increase
your knowledge and understanding of things. You also have to have the physical
energy to get things done when you find your opportunity. Otherwise you may just
fall into a procrastinating pattern or back down. So workout. Eat enough. Sleep
enough. Basic stuff of course. But if you do it consistently then you’ll
increase you chances of succeeding when it’s time to start chopping down your
trees. With a high energy level it will be easier to persist until you are done.
</li>
<li><strong>Remind yourself where you are going.</strong> A lot of not so
important busy work can dull your ax. You need to regularly review your plans
and remind yourself of your goals and what you really want. If you don’t keep
your eyes on where you want to go you might wind up somewhere completely
different. </li>
</ul>
<strong>8. Take a responsibility for your own life.</strong><br />
<em>“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather
was.”</em><br />
<em>“You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and
should do for themselves.”</em><br />
When we are kids people take care of us. They take responsibility. But to
become an adult – and not just a kid in a grown up’s body – one has to take
responsibility for oneself. There is no other way. Sure, letting someone else
take the responsibility may be easier on you.<br />
But without taking responsibility for yourself how can you be free?<br />How
can you really live up you own potential and dreams?<br />
It can be hard to break out of the comfort zone of having other people taking
responsibility for us. But if you don’t then you will be trapped by other
people’s standards, expectations and limitations. You have to set your own rules
for your life. A bit scary. But also liberating.<br />
<strong>9. Happiness is optional.</strong><br />
<em>“Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to
be.</em><br />
One big upside of taking responsibility for yourself is that it lets you
decide where the standards and limits are set. When you take responsibility for
what you do you will also feel that you deserve to do what you feel is right for
you, in your life.<br />
And our control and responsibility not only goes for what you do out in the
world. But also for your thoughts and emotions. You are to a large extent in
charge here too.<br />
When you realise this then you realise that you don’t have to play along with
your old patterns of thinking and feeling anymore. You don’t have to play along
with is “normal” or common thinking. You don’t have to take your thoughts so
seriously. You can choose to not feel insulted when someone says something. You
can choose to not to be angry whilst stuck in traffic. You can choose to see the
positive in people. And you can choose how happy you will be.<br />
Pain is inevitable in life. But how you choose to process or think about
things – and if you let them get stuck in your mind or not – is up to you.
Suffering is therefore to a large extent optional. And so is happiness.<br />
<strong>10. Live your life fully.</strong><br />
<em>“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in
your years.”</em><br />
This one is just beautiful. And I don’t really have much to add. But it might
be useful to remind yourself of this saying regularly. Maybe when you feel like
you are veering off track. Or when heading into things like small-mindedness,
laziness or complacency. Perhaps you want to write it down and put it in a
highly visible place so you don’t forget about it.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-80694366462812593722011-11-12T21:09:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:09:24.287-08:00A Timeless Guide to Simplifying Your Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<em>Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify.”</em><br /><strong>Henry
Thoreau</strong><br />
One of the most important things I have done to improve my life over the last
few years is to focus on letting go of many things and to simplify.<br />
Simplifying one’s life is as I have understood via emails and surveys also
one of the most common aspirations of readers of this website. So for the past
few months I have been working hard on a course called Simplicity.<br />
This is by far my most in-depth product so far and will help you to
practically simplify and improve the most important areas in life such as your
productivity & effectiveness, your thinking, your social skills &
relationships, your health, your money habits and more. Be on the lookout for
more information about this in the next few days.<br />
But for today I would like to share a couple of great ideas about simplifying
that have been with us for a long time. These are a few of my
own favorite thoughts about simplifying your life from the last 2500 years or
so.<br />
<strong>Focus on what is most important for you. Let go of the
rest.</strong><br />
<em>“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the
necessary may speak.”</em><br /><strong>Hans Hofmann</strong><br />
<em>“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of
leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of
non-essentials.”</em><br /><strong>Lin Yutang</strong><br />
<em>“The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts
of the marble block as are not needed – it is a process of
elimination.”</em><br /><strong>Elbert Hubbard</strong><br />
There are many things you can let go of. Both on the inside and the outside.
I have for example let go of some busy work on the outside. I have greatly
decreased the number of times I check email etc. each day and I have learned to
use very short to-do lists with only 2-3 of the most important items instead of
a dozen items or more.<br />
On the inside I do my best to let go of trivial and petty stuff. I let go of
negative stuff. I let go of trying to control the results of my actions. I let
go of information and old self-images that don’t serve me anymore. I always
remember – or remind myself via the white board on my wall – to keep things
extremely simple.<br />
You can read quite a bit more about letting go in the last chapter of my free
ebook, <a href="http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2010/02/03/get-my-free-e-book-the-7-timeless-habits-of-happiness/">The
7 Timeless Habits of Happiness</a>. But I’ll mention a small and effective tip
for letting go right here. First accept that you are for example stuck in
focusing on something trivial. Then let it go. Don’t try to just reject what you
are thinking or feeling because that will only make it harder to let it go.<br />
By doing all this elimination on the inside and outside there is more room,
time and energy for me to use for the most important things. And that makes life
so much more interesting and fun.<br />
<strong>Express yourself in a simple way.</strong><br />
<em>“My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best
and simplest way.”</em><br /><strong><em>Ernest Hemingway</em></strong><br />
One of the trickier things about social skills is to get your message across.
One reason why people have difficulty with this is because they use more words
than needed.<br />
Now, sometimes that can be a good and enjoyable thing. Sometimes it’s just a
way to feed your own ego and keep the spotlight on yourself for as long as
possible. A lot of the time I think it can be useful to simplify and try to use
fewer words.<br />
Why? Well, it makes your message clearer and makes it more powerful
emotionally because it’s focused. Keeping it shorter and more focused also makes
it less likely that people will simply become bored with what you are
saying.<br />
So, how do you keep your word count down?<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Be aware and alert. </strong>Just being aware of your problem can
help you to stop the talking before it becomes excessive rambling.
</li>
<li><strong>Focus outward.</strong> Babbling on too much is also, at least in my
opinion, something that often comes from being too focused inward and on
yourself in a conversation. If you instead focus more outward you’ll be less
self-conscious. This reduces nervous and slightly nonsensical babbling. And if
you focus more outward, on the people you are talking to and less on your own
glorious voice and golden words you’ll be more aware of what you are saying and
how the conversation is going. If you focus on the other people you’ll be more
focused on getting through and more attentive to the reactions you bring out.
</li>
</ul>
<strong>A simpler life is one way to a happier life.</strong><br />
<em>“Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life,
and the labors of life reduce themselves.”</em><br /><strong>Edwin Way
Teale</strong><br />
Society is to a large degree built on getting more.<br />
To a degree this can be useful. But it may not be the thing that will solve
all your problems.<br />
You may not find your answer or happiness in more. It may just alter your
troubles and problems. And/or give you more of them. What is already there
inside of you perhaps gets highlighted and magnified when you get more. Instead
of getting whatever you want when finally making all that money your wanted you
may find that greed, jealousy and selfishness within you and in your world
increases.<br />
You may have thought that when you finally arrived at that place your
problems would just disappear. But the ego wants more and is never
satisfied.<br />
So trying to fill your life and yourself up with more – money, stuff, power,
smartness, prettiness, a feeling of being more enlightened than others – and
then finally becoming happy may become like trying to fill a bucket with a hole
in the bottom.<br />
By simplifying and letting of a craving for more you can make your life
happier and easier.<br />
<strong>Get a life to create a simpler life.</strong><br />
<em>“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it
complicated.”</em><br /><strong>Confucius</strong><br />
<em>“Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively
complicates life.”</em><br /><strong>Katherine F. Gerould</strong><br />
Why do people make life more complicated than it is? Well, one answer may be
old habits that you need to let go of and replace.<br />
Another answer is that your life isn’t really that exciting. So you add drama
and complications to make it more interesting and stimulating. That’s at least
what I used to do in the past.<br />
But instead of doing that you can take the more difficult path and actually
get a life.<br />
If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do then
it’s very easy to get stuck in thought loops and go into a downward spiral.
Simply by filling your life with more fun activities and people you become a lot
more relaxed and have little time or patience for complications or drama from
yourself or others.<br />
So spend less time analyzing life and more time living and exploring it in
whatever way you’d like. By doing so you are also often confronted with having
to expand your comfort zones and perhaps face a fear. This leads to better self
confidence and less fretting about if you can handle things that may come up<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-58155881555726485802011-11-12T21:07:00.001-08:002011-11-12T21:08:11.166-08:005 Practical Steps to Help You Minimize Fear and Open Up Your Life Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes
him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand,
and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid
adventurers.”</em><br /><strong>Ralph Waldo Emerson</strong>
<br />
<br />
What is holding you back from trying new things and improving your life in
big or small ways in your daily life?<br />
When you boil it down it is most often not about anything outside of you. Or
that is at least not the biggest reason why you feel paralyzed. It’s the fear
that gets to you.<br />
It holds you back from trying something new for lunch, a new place for the
evening out or a new hobby because you feel somewhat afraid that you’ll have a
bad experience. So you stick to your usual routine.<br />
It holds you back from asking someone for a date or number because you don’t
want to risk being rejected or looking like a fool in front of people. So you
don’t take the next step.<br />
You stay where you are and new directions in your life remain unexplored.<br />
This is of course very human. But fear doesn’t have to stop you from
exploring life.<br />
Now, let me share what I do to minimize my fear and to be able to move from
feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed into taking action and moving forward.<br />
<strong>1. What is the worst that could happen?</strong><br />
I like this very practical exercise as step number one.<br />
So ask yourself this question. Really think about. Don’t just think about it
for a few seconds. Sit down with a pen and piece of paper, your laptop or
cellphone. Write it all out and think about what the realistic worst-case
scenario would be.<br />
Then write down a plan for how you can come back from such a
scenario.<br />This step brings clarity, defuses fuzzy fears and helps you realize
that you can most often bounce back pretty quickly even if the worst-case
scenario somehow becomes reality.<br />
If that only works to a degree move on to the next step…<br />
<strong>2. Share your fear with someone.</strong><br />
By sharing your fear you can relieve inner pressure. By just keeping it on
the inside it’s easy to build it up into this massive nightmare and extremely
dangerous thing.<br />
By sharing and by getting some input from a levelheaded friend or family
member he or she can help you to alleviate the fear and inner pressure. And you
can gain a much healthier perspective on things again.<br />
If you don’t have someone to share it with or if that only works partly too
then move on to…<br />
<strong>3. Accept the fear.</strong><br />
It is a natural impulse to try to deny the fear when shows up in your life.
Perhaps you try to not think about, you try to push it away. Or you tell
yourself that you need to focus like a laser beam on the positive.<br />
I have found that in many cases it is actually better to just accept that
fear – or whatever is left of it after having worked through step #1 and #2 – is
here right now (although it can be hard to sometimes convince your brain that
this is a good option as it wants to deny or reject what is).<br />
By accepting that you feel this way you stop feeding more energy into the
fear and you stop making it strong. After a few minutes of fully taking in this
uncomfortable feeling and accepting it then it starts to lose steam. It just
seems to float away and you feel more open and relieved feelings bubbling up
within.<br />
<strong>4. Tap into curiosity and focus on the upsides.</strong><br />
By now, most of those fearful feelings are often pretty small and they tend
come and go. You have processed much of that inner tension and resistance.<br />
So you are now at a good point to start focusing on why you want to move
towards what you have feared and to open your mind to what you can find out
there.<br />
Take out the pen and paper and ask yourself:<br />
<ul>
<li>What is the opportunity in this situation?
</li>
<li>What are the potential upsides I want and can have by taking these actions?
</li>
<li>What are the potential upsides in one year if I start moving on this path?
And in five years?
</li>
<li>And how will life be in five years if I continue on the path I am now?
</li>
</ul>
The answer when it comes to what you eat for lunch or if you want to have a
new hobby may simply be that life becomes more fun, healthy, fulfilling and
filled with newness and more surprises.<br />
The answer when it comes to taking action to make a date happen, to get a new
job or to take another direction in college could be that your life changes
completely.<br />
<strong>5. Take a small step forward. Take it slowly if you
like.</strong><br />
You don’t have to go all in at once in many cases. Think about how you can
move in small steps and slowly towards what you want. Just dip your toes in at
first if that feels more comfortable. The most important thing is that you start
moving and that you take action, not how fast or how much action you take at
first.<br />
If you for example want to start your own business work on that in the
evening while still working at your day job or staying in school. Don’t let
thinking like “I have to go all in and take huge risks” hold you back.<br />
Or if you want to try something new today just tell yourself that:<br />
Just for today I will try [insert something you want to try]!<br />
You just have to do it today. Not ever again after today. You are not signing
up for some huge commitment.<br />
Tomorrow you may continue on that new path. Or you may not.<br />
By not making this into a huge thing you have do but instead just a small
step, that you can take and get done as slowly as you like, it becomes so much
easier to do what is most important at first: to put yourself in motion.<br />
Then, along the way, you can take bigger leaps if you like and speed things
up. You will learn through successes and failures (and realize that you won’t
die if things don’t go your way all the time). You will quit some things and
continue doing other things.<br />
But first, make it easy on yourself to take the first step.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-30768917185200255662011-11-12T19:53:00.003-08:002011-11-12T19:53:58.786-08:0021 Small Habits That Will Help You to Live a Simpler Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”<br style="margin: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong>Leonardo
da Vinci</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because
of their simplicity and familiarity.”</em><br /><strong>Ludwig
Wittgenstein</strong><br />
I love simplifying my life. It makes me more effective and life less
stressful. It makes me calmer and happier.<br />
But where do you start? Or continue if you are already on your way?<br />
In this article I’ll share 21 small habits that help me to live a simpler
life. I hope you’ll find something helpful here and that you get started with
one of these suggestions today and continue doing it until your new habit sticks
(that usually happens after about 30 days).<br />
<ol>
<li><strong>Breathe. </strong>When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or
future in your mind breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on
the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back
into the present moment again.
</li>
<li><strong>Do one thing at a time.</strong> You’ll get better results and feel
better and less stressed while doing those things.
</li>
<li><strong>Write it all down.</strong> Use your mind for better things than
remembering what to do. And the mind is often like a leaky bucket. So write down
all your great ideas, insights, and thoughts before they go missing somewhere
and add what you need to do to a to-do list.
</li>
<li><strong>Do all your food shopping once a week. </strong>You’ll save time,
energy and possibly money.
</li>
<li><strong>Stop doing what you don’t like doing anymore.</strong> Life changes
and so do you. If you you don’t like doing something anymore then stop doing
that (even if it may take some time before you can do so by for example
switching jobs).
</li>
<li><strong>Stop trying to please everyone.</strong> There will always be people
who you don’t get along with or that do not like you for some reason.
</li>
<li><strong>Stop trying to do things perfectly.</strong> Go for good enough
instead and when you are there you are done. Get things all the way to done this
way and then move on to the next thing.
</li>
<li><strong>Pack your bag before you go to bed.</strong> Then you don’t have get
stressed out by that in morning and you are less likely to forget something.
</li>
<li><strong>Throw out the things you haven’t used in 1 year.</strong> Go through
what you have and ask yourself if you have used it in the past year. If not,
give it away to charity or a friend or simply throw it out.
</li>
<li><strong>Ask yourself simplifying questions every day. </strong>Questions
like “What is the most important thing I can do right now?”.
</li>
<li><strong>Keep everything in its place.</strong> If everything has its own
place then it is whole lot easier to keep your home reasonably ordered and
decluttered from day to day. This also helps you with your inner stillness as
the outer environment affects how you feel on the inside.
</li>
<li><strong>Cook more food than you’ll eat.</strong> I usually make two or three
servings of what I am about to eat. This cuts down on time that you spend on
cooking and you’ll have to do less washing up in general. Plus, it’s good to
have portions of food to bring to work to save some money.
</li>
<li><strong>Write shorter emails.</strong> I tend to write emails containing
only a few sentences, usually between one and five. If you focus on keeping it
short and focused then you’ll probably discover that this is a good solution in
most cases.
</li>
<li><strong>Ask instead of guessing.</strong> Reading minds is hard. So, instead
ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimize unnecessary
conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste or time and energy.
</li>
<li><strong>Use a minimalistic workspace.</strong> My work space is just a
laptop on a small black desk made out of wood. I use a comfy chair and there is
room for my glass of water beside the computer. That’s it. There are no
distractions here. Just me, the computer and the water.
</li>
<li><strong>Check everything just once a day.</strong> I check my email inboxes,
blog statistics, my online earnings, Twitter and Facebook just once a day. I
combine all that checking into one small daily ritual at the end of my work day
so I don’t slip and go checking it more during the day and waste my energy and
attention.
</li>
<li><strong>Choose small daily acts of kindness.</strong> Instead of small acts
of judgment and criticism towards the people around you.
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t make mountains out of molehills.</strong> Before you you start
thinking too much about something and building it up something big in your head,
ask yourself “am I making a mountain out of a molehill here? And if you get lost
victim thinking in some way then ask yourself “does anyone on the planet have it
worse than me right now?”.
</li>
<li><strong>Spend 15 minutes each Sunday to plan the next week.</strong> Write
down your plans for the week, organize your prioritized to-do list and get ready
for the week before you are in the middle of it all. This will help you to find
more clarity, get more of the most important things done next week and minimize
stress.
</li>
<li><strong>Cancel subscriptions</strong> for things you rarely get around to
watching or reading anyway.
</li>
<li><strong>Spend more time with people that help you to keep things
simple.</strong> And spend less time with people that drag you down into
overcomplicating everything and creating unnecessary drama. </li>
</ol>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-75048367626036528572011-11-12T19:53:00.001-08:002011-11-12T19:53:38.274-08:004 Effective Fundamentals for Turning Your Idea or Moment of Inspiration into Reality<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and
magic in it.”</em><br /><strong>Johann Wolfgang von Goethe</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“If one advances confidently in the direction of one’s dreams, and
endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success
unexpected in common hours.”</em><br /><strong>Henry David Thoreau</strong><br />
Does this sound familiar?<br />
You are sitting on the bus or you are standing in shower. Suddenly a great or
very useful idea plops into your head. Or you have a moment of inspiration on
your daily walk to work or school.<br />
You are pleased with yourself and excited about the idea.<br />
But then the days go by. A month goes by.<br />
And nothing has happened with your idea or moment of inspiration. Life just
continues as usual.<br />
I guess we have all been there. It can be painful. It can feel
frustrating.<br />
So what can you do to make it a whole lot more likely that you will turn your
idea or moment of inspiration into something real?<br />
Here’s what works for me.<br />
<strong>Write it down.</strong><br />
First, awesome ideas often get lost because they tend to not stay in your
mind for long. Something else comes along and after just a few minutes that
great thought may be floating away on the wind.<br />
So you need to capture it before that. You need to write it down.<br />
Choose a way to capture your ideas. I use my cell phone. You can use that or
a pad of paper and a pen. Or something else. But has to be something you can use
quickly after your idea has popped into your head, so a small and portable
object that you carry around with you every day works the best.<br />
<strong>Keep it simple.</strong><br />
It can be inspiring to build on your idea and make it bigger, grander. You
may for example want to make your e-book into a big education package with lots
of bells and whistles.<br />
Or make your idea of starting to exercise into this big production with not
only running a couple of days per week, but also soccer and aerobics so that
almost all your days contain quite a bit of working out.<br />
This feels good and like a huge leap forward. But the hugeness of it all can
become a big problem when are about to take action on all of this.<br />
You start to feel paralyzed and overwhelmed because doing all of this isn’t
the same thing as dreaming about doing all of it.<br />
To be able to get started and get some practical results instead of just big
dreams a month from now make it simple.<br />
Go out running for 20 minutes once a week for the first few weeks.<br />
Just write an e-book and get that done. Don’t worry about creating a lot of
extras.<br />
<strong>Get the ball rolling today.</strong><br />
Ideas turn into plans for someday because we don’t take action and make them
into a little piece of our reality today.<br />
So instead of keeping on dreaming for the rest of the day take one small
action to get the ball rolling and make your thought into something real.<br />
Go the local gym after work and sign up for a one month membership or go out
and buy a pair of running shoes.<br />
Create a mindmap of the ideas you want incorporate into your e-book on a big
piece of paper or start writing on the introduction chapter of the book where
you talk about why you wanted to write this book and how it will help the
reader.<br />
<strong>Go for good enough.</strong><br />
After you have gotten ball rolling, after you have continued to take action
and you are coming close to getting it done – if it is something that can be
done, like a book, a song, a project of some kind – remember this: go for good
enough.<br />
It is very easy to get stuck in trying to polish your creation until it is
just perfect. This will in reality however seldom lead to a perfect final result
but simply that you don’t ever get it done.<br />
Don’t trap yourself that way. Yes, it can be scary to let go of what you have
created. To tell yourself that it is done – for now at least, maybe you’ll come
back to it later on in the future – and to release it into the world and have
other see it and react to it.<br />
But it also feels so good to be done, to have something you have created out
here. And it is a sort of relief to be able to fully move on to the next
thing.<br />
So go for good enough.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-80604492072378973232011-11-12T19:52:00.001-08:002011-11-12T19:52:43.639-08:00Winston Churchill’s Top 6 Fundamentals for a Successful Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”<br />
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”<br />
Winston Churchill is probably no stranger to anyone. He was an inspirational British leader during the Second World War.<br />
He was also a writer, historian, poet, artist and the only British Prime Minister to receive the Nobel Prize in Literature.<br />
Here are a few of my favorite fundamentals from Churchill on how to improve your life.<br />
1. Focus on what you are doing right now.<br />
“It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”<br />
“It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see.”<br />
When you start to look too far into the future then any task or project can seem close to impossible. And so you shut down because you become overwhelmed and start surfing the internet aimlessly instead. That is one of the reasons why it is good to plan for the future but then to shift your focus back to today and the present moment.<br />
Then you just focus on taking the first step today. That is all you need to focus on, nothing else. By taking the first step you change your mental state from resistant to “hey, I’m doing this, cool”. You put yourself in state where you become more positive and open, a state where you may not be enthusiastic about taking the next step after this first one but you are at least accepting it. And so you can take the next step. And the next one after that.<br />
The thing is, you can’t see the whole path anyway and it will shift and reveal itself along the way. That’s why the best of plans tend to fall apart at least a bit as you start to put it into action. You discover that your map of reality doesn’t look like reality.<br />
2. Be concerned about action.<br />
“I never worry about action, but only about inaction”<br />
Yes, taking action can lead to failure, rejection or making mistakes. There is always a risk for that. But if you stay in inaction then you are pretty much guaranteed that nothing will change or improve.<br />
How can you improve your action habit though? Three tips:<br />
Reconnect with the present moment. This will help you snap out of over thinking and just go and do whatever you want to get done. It is one of the best tips I have found so far for taking more action since it puts you in a state where you feel little emotional resistance to the work you’ll do. And it puts you in state where the right actions often just seem to flow out of you in a focused but relaxed way and without much effort. One of the simplest ways to connect with the present moment is just to keep your focus on your breathing for a minute or two. Check out 7 more tips in 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment.<br />
Lighten up. One way to dissuade yourself from taking action is to take whatever you are about to do too seriously. That makes it feel too big, too difficult and too scary. If you on the other hand relax a bit and lighten up you often realize that those problems and negative feelings are just something you are creating in your own mind. With a lighter state of mind your tasks seems lighter and becomes easier to get started with.<br />
Start small. To get from a state where you just feel like sitting on your chair and doing nothing much to one where you take action over and over you can do this: start small. Getting started with your biggest task or most difficult action may seem too much and land you in Procrastinationland. So instead, start with something that doesn’t seem so hard. One of my favorites is simply to take a few minutes to clean my desk. After that the next thing doesn’t seem so difficult to get started with since I’m now in a more of a “take action” kind of mode.<br />
3. Be an optimist.<br />
“The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”<br />
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”<br />
“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”<br />
Focusing on what helps you sure makes a huge difference compared to if you keep focusing on what is wrong in every situation or what makes you more of a victim. It’s like living in two different worlds.<br />
How do you make the shift to a more optimistic attitude? Well, it takes time. But gradually you can change it. Four of my own most favorite tips are:<br />
Take care of the basic fundamentals. This is for me the most important thing you can do to maintain and strengthen your positive attitude. How you eat, sleep and workout is huge factor. A good lifestyle, how you live your life on normal days determine how you feel, think and how much energy you will have.<br />
For example, exercising and keeping my testosterone levels pretty high consistently – I do that by focusing on free weight exercises that target many and big muscle groups – is a very simple way to get a lot of positive emotions to flow through my body automatically. A good workout always seems to do the trick.<br />
Positive influences. Fill your mind and emotional system with positive input from people, music and programs/books. Other people’s thoughts have a big influence and emotions are contagious. Limit your time with negative people. Reduce TV or magazines that may make you feel worse about what you don’t own or your body. Or just create fear and negativity within you (for instance a lot of news shows). Limiting negative influences can make it a lot easier to keep the positive attitude up.<br />
Set the context for your day. What you do early in the day often sets the context for your day. We have a tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. You can use that your advantage in few ways. You can for example do the hardest thing on your to-do list first. When it is done you’ll feel good about yourself and it makes the day feel easier and you’ll have less inner resistance to getting the rest of the tasks of the day done.<br />
Act as you want to feel. Act as if you are feeling positive. After a few minutes you will actually feel it for real. So smile. Use positive language. And so on. It feels weird at first but it really works.<br />
Just practicing these four things in a consistent way can make a huge difference in your life.<br />
4. Be persistent. Don’t give up.<br />
“Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential”<br />
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”<br />
Since society often tells us to look for quick fixes it’s easy to make the mistake of giving up to soon. After you have failed perhaps 1-5 times. That’s the “normal” thing to do. But what could have happened if someone just kept going after that? And for each failure learned more and more about what works?<br />
I think people often make a mistake of giving up too early. Your mind probably has a reasonable time-frame for success. This might not correspond to a realistic time-frame though.<br />
It’s useful to take a break from advertised perspectives and let more realistic perspectives seep into your mind. Learn from people who have gone where you want to go. Talk to them. Read what they have to say in books or online. This will not give complete plan but a clearer perspective of what is needed to achieve what you want.<br />
Now, that’s not to say that you should never quit. But it can be helpful to keep going on your current path for a while longer.<br />
And that’s not to say that you should do the same thing over and over in exactly the same manner. It’s better to do and get an experience. Take the lessons you can learn from that real life experience. And then adjust how you do things as you try again.<br />
It obviously helps immensely if you find what you really like to do. And what you really, really want. Then you’ll find the inner motivation to keep going, to get what you want and to build on inner strengths like persistence.<br />
5. Don’t lose the enthusiasm.<br />
“Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”<br />
It’s very easy to get down on yourself and your results when things don’t go as planned. What was once enthusiasm can quickly become apathy and pessimism.<br />
But how do you do keep up the enthusiasm after things have gone wrong and you just feel like giving up? Well, as I mentioned in the previous fundamental, it certainly helps to have something you really like doing and something you really want.<br />
And the tips found in fundamental # 3 such as keeping your energy up, acting as you would like to feel and keeping away from negative influences work very well here too. A good additional tip is simply to ask better questions in “negative” situations. Instead of asking yourself why this or you suck ask yourself questions that empower you.<br />
Questions like:<br />
What can I learn from this?<br />
What is the hidden opportunity in this situation?<br />
6. Remember, most troubles never happen.<br />
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened”<br />
One final, quick thought. But a very important one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of time.<br />
This is of course easy to say. But if you think back and remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more worry from your thoughts.<br />
This makes it a lot easier to start doing more of what you really want in life. And to move through your day to day life with a lighter, happier and more optimistic attitude<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-79509288687153887362011-11-12T19:51:00.003-08:002011-11-12T19:52:06.956-08:00How to Get Rid of a Bad Habit<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than
tomorrow.”</em><br /><strong>Yiddish Proverb</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that separate
them.”</em><strong>Confucius</strong><br />
Most of us have one or a few habits that we consider bad and we’d like to get
rid of. But how do you do it?<br />
Today I’d like to share I have a few suggestions that have helped me and
people around me greatly.<br />
Here are 8 tips that can help you to finally get rid of that bad habit once
and for all.<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Tell your friends and family. </strong>If you tell people around you
that you will stop smoking or start working out three times a week then they
will check up on you. And you will feel a social pressure to keep up with your
promise now that it is let out into the world. I would recommend only telling
people who you think will support you or be neutral. Negative people make things
so much more difficult.
</li>
<li><strong>Make it painful to not go through with it.</strong> This may not be
for everyone but you could consider making a promise to someone. For example, if
you stray off the path to better health by having French fries or a cigarette
then you will give your friend 100 or 500 dollars. The point is to add some
possible pain to keep yourself in check on days when you may feel a bit tempted.
</li>
<li><strong>Listen to those who have gone where you want to go.</strong> Not to
people who have no practical or real idea about what your challenge entails. It
is important to get the best advice that actually works in real life. Seek it
out in people around you, in the best books on the topic (check for the number
of stars and read reviews on a site like amazon.com) and on blogs and forums
that seem reliable.
</li>
<li><strong>What will this lead to in 5 and 10 years?</strong> See your future
self vividly in your mind. Where are you going? Towards massive debt, a heart
attack, serious illness and severe restrictions in your future? Do you want go
to that place where it is very likely that you will wind up if you don’t make a
change? Then see your future self where you have made the positive change. What
positive and awesome things has it brought you in 5 years and in 10 years? See
it all in your mind. And remind yourself of the positive and negative
consequences by writing them down and reviewing them whenever you feel like
quitting and going back to your old ways.
</li>
<li><strong>Avoid temptations.</strong> Know what usually triggers your bad
habit. Places where you are likely to spend too much money. Things in your
cupboard that will not help you to get healthier and you should not have at home
at all. And people that drag you down and back into your old ways.
</li>
<li><strong>Replace it.</strong> If you stop doing one thing then it can leave a
vacuum in your life. It’s easier to not relapse if you replace that space with a
new habit. If you had chips and candy at home to snack on then have fruits and
nuts to snack on when you feel the cravings. If you stopped checking social
media and the internet for many hours each evening then replace that habit and
space with reading more books or joining a club, sport or evening class.
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t remove more than one habit at a time.</strong> It may seem
like a good idea to overhaul your life all at once. When regular life, stress
and lack of energy interfere it usually leads to failure. Don’t try to be
Superman or Wonder Woman. Take it easy and change one habit at a time
to dramatically increase the odds of real life success.
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t make a huge deal out of it.</strong> If you think about it and
talk about it all the time then it will feel like a huge deal to get rid of that
habit. This will make each day much harder mentally and you may feel
overwhelmed. Instead, keep it simple and realize that whatever habit you want to
get rid of thousands if not millions of people have done so before. Yes, things
do get tough from time to time. But there is no need to create a lot of extra
drama around it and in the longer run make things more difficult than they need
to be. </li>
</ul>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-5081282436321391292011-11-12T19:51:00.001-08:002011-11-12T19:51:36.342-08:00How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (and Stop Feeling Lousy About Yourself and Your Life)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always
there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”</em><br /><strong>Max
Ehrman</strong>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
One
very common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and
yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes,
money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you
pummel your self esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings
within. And perhaps also outside of yourself.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
So
what can you do? How can you get a handle on this habit?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
In
this article I’ll share what I have done. I’ll start with two habits that I use
to replace that destructive habit. Then I’ll move on to a few more general tips
that have also helped me.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Compare
yourself to yourself.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
First,
instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing
yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and
what progress you have made towards your goals.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
This
habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards
yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome
and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to
think less of other people.</div>
You can make this habit stick by for instance taking a few minutes each day
or just each Sunday (or any day that fits you) to use a journal to write down
how you have grown, how much closer you are to your goals now, what you have
overcome and learned and so on.<br />
By doing so your thinking will over time shift and your thought patterns will
automatically become more focused on comparing you to you rather than to other
people.<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<strong>Be
kind.</strong></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
In
my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big,
big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Judge
and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more
(often almost automatically). Be more kind to other people and help them and you
tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
So
focus your mind on helping people and being kind.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Focus
on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. Appreciate what
is positive in yourself and others. This way you become more OK with yourself
and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating
differences in your mind.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
You
are OK and so are they.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Now,
a few more tips that can be helpful to move away from that comparison trap:</div>
<ul>
<li><strong>Just realize that you can’t win. </strong>Just consciously realizing
this is helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone
else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.
Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbour.
But a week or two later you’ll see someone from the next block with an even
finer car than yours.
</li>
<li><strong>Give up both sides of comparing. </strong>If you can’t stop doing
the negative comparisons then stop doing the comparisons that make you feel good
too. Give them both up, at least for a while. If you’re in the habit of
comparing to feel better about yourself then it’s hard to just stop at that and
to not also start comparing in way that make you feel worse and inferior too. So
you may need to step out of that whole comparing habit because the two sides are
often connected. Give up the upside to be able to move away from the downside.
</li>
</ul>
<div style="margin-bottom: 1.57em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
And
that is basically how I do it, that is how I keep those negative comparisons to
a minimum in my life.</div>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-60212756581529596612011-11-12T19:50:00.003-08:002011-11-12T19:50:53.923-08:00How to Release the Pressure and Relaxify Your Summer: 6 Simple Tips<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”</em><br /><strong>Sydney J.
Harris</strong>
<br />
<br />
Maybe you are on vacation right now and are trying to relax and release the
pressure and tension from a year of school or work. And maybe you are soon going
back again.<br />
So what can you do to increase your sense of centeredness and relaxation not
only during these remaining weeks of summer but also during this fall?<br />
Well, here are six tips that have worked well for me. I hope you’ll find
something useful.<br />
<strong>Spend your time online in a very focused way. </strong><br />
One change I usually do during the summer is to minimize the time I spend
online. I cut it down to the bare essentials. Basically that means I update the
blog and send out new newsletters. And I check my email/Twitter/Facebook maybe
once every other day. Of course, you may not have the option or want to make
exactly those changes.<br />
But you may want to try to cut down on your online time a bit. Maybe just
check all the things you check online once a day. I have found that it makes me
a lot more relaxed, focused on the most important things and leaves me with more
time to use for other things.<br />
<strong>Let go of what you “have to do”.</strong><br />
If you are feeling totally stressed out and wrapped up in everything you
“have to do”, here is a good question:<br />
“Will this matter in 5 years?”.<br />
This is of course not an excuse for you to not do anything. But a reminder
that the small things we get wrapped up in when we feel stressed are often not
that important when you view it from a wider perspective.<br />
In the end you can choose what you want to do and not do. There are of course
consequences to everything that we do and that is something one must keep in
mind. But I think it is very important to feel like you are in control of your
own life to be able to stay centred and minimize stress and pressure. It’s
important to choose what you want to do instead of always living in reaction and
feeling controlled by outside forces all the time.<br />
You may for example feel like you have all these things you “just have to do
before the summer is over”. If such thoughts are stressing you out, you may want
to choose to say no to some of those things.<br />
And you might want to take a day where you take it easy and do pretty much
nothing. It can do wonders.<br />
<strong>Take 30 belly breaths.</strong><br />
This is one of the quickest and most consistent way to relax that I have
found so far. It can be done anywhere and anytime. It’s great way to release
pent up tension and to centre yourself in the present moment once again as you
bring your focus to just the in- and out-breaths.<br />
Here’s a simple instruction on what to do:<br />
<ul>
<li>Sit or stand up straight but in a relaxed way.
</li>
<li>Put your hands on your stomach. Using your stomach breathe in slowly through
your nose. If you are doing it right your stomach will expand and you’ll feel it
with your hands.
</li>
<li>Breathe out slowly through your nose.
</li>
<li>Breathe in and out 30 times. Take deep and slow breaths. </li>
</ul>
<strong>Act as you would like to feel. </strong><br />
Another simple tip you can use just about anywhere. Your emotions work
backwards too. If you slow down then while walking, moving your body or talking
you can often start to feel less stressed (compared to if you move/talk
fast).<br />
Slowing down to decrease stress goes for many other things you do in everyday
life too like riding your bicycle, driving the car and eating.<br />
<strong>Stop thinking the world revolves around you.</strong><br />
One great way to make your life unnecessarily hard and difficult is to assume
that the world revolves around you. It can make you feel like you are trapped in
a cage built out of social pressure. Not pleasant at all.<br />
But is everyone watching everything you do? Thinking about you a lot and
discussing what you said or did? Probably not. It’s very seductive to think they
do because it makes you feel important and it gives you validation and
attention. But they are probably spending their time worrying about their own
challenges in life and what other people think about them.<br />
It’s not easy to let go of the belief that the world revolves around you. But
there are huge benefits such as decreased shyness and increased openness towards
people and trying new things.<br />
So you give up or decrease the importance you put on validation from the
outside. And by doing so you can release a lot of pressure and stress and
increase your own inner centeredness and freedom to feel that you can do what
you want in life.<br />
And as you do so you stop raising your self-esteem and increasing positive
feelings about yourself through the validation people may give you (or at least
you cut down on it a lot).<br />
Instead you now raise the self-esteem and increase the positive feelings by
doing more of what you think are the right things to do in life and by caring
more about <strong>what you think and feel</strong> about yourself and how you
are living your life.<br />
<strong>Just accept how you feel right now.</strong><br />
Maybe you try out some of the tips above. And maybe they still can’t help you
to shake that stress, inner pressure or whatever you are carrying around. I
would then suggest just accepting that it is there. To tell yourself: “This is
how I feel right now and I accept it”.<br />
This may sound like you’re giving up. However, by accepting how you feel
instead of resisting it you reduce the emotional energy that you are feeding
into this conflict/problem. It then tends to just lose speed like a car that
runs out of fuel. And oftentimes it becomes so weak after while that it just
moves out of your inner focus and disappears.<br />
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-37079728565116214852011-11-12T19:50:00.001-08:002011-11-12T19:50:32.279-08:005 Powerful Steps That Will Help You to Overcome Your Worries<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”</em><strong>Swedish
Proverb</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying
about one year ago today.”</em><strong>E. Joseph Cossman</strong><br />
<em>”People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens
are attached to them.”</em><strong>George Bernard Shaw</strong><br />
You are going about your regular day in your usual fashion. Then a thought or
a feeling strikes you. It multiplies and start circling around and around in
your head. Becoming louder and louder as it saps your strength and makes you
feel weaker.<br />
Worries can really put a wet blanket over your life and suck the excitement
and fun right out of it.<br />
So strategies are needed. Strategies to redirect our thoughts and feelings
away from the worries and to make them fade away and let us regain inner peace
or at least make those worries manageable.<br />
In this article I’ll share how I do that in my own life. Some of these things
may work very well for you. Some may work less well. So i recommend going
through these steps and trying them out and see what works best for you.<br />
<strong>1. Ask yourself: How many of the things you feared would happen in
your life did actually happen?</strong><br />
This is a big one. Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are
just monsters in your own mind. And if they happen then they will most often not
be as painful or bad as you expected. Worrying is most often just a waste of
time.<br />
This is of course easy to say. But if you remind yourself of how little of
what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to
release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.<br />
So whenever I am struck with worries, I ask myself this question and I remind
myself of how little of the things that I have worried about over the years that
have actually become real. I find that this most often calms me down.<br />
<strong>2. Ask yourself: Am I making a mountain out of a
molehill?</strong><br />
It’s very easy to fall into the habit of making mountains out of molehills.
You think and think about a small problem until it becomes something that you
believe may ruin your life.<br />
So why do we do it? Why don’t strive to make things easy and simple?<br />
Well, one reason I believe is protection from pain. By making the problem
huge can you can invent a helpful excuse to convince yourself to not take
action.<br />
Another reason is that the ego wants more. It wants to feel better or worse
than someone else. By making things more complicated than they need to be you
can make them feel very important. And since you are involved in these important
things, since you have these BIG problems, well, then you have to be important
too, right? Plus, by doing so you can get a lot of attention and comfort from
other people.<br />
So how do you get out of the habit of making mountains of molehills? Two
tips:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Zoom out.</strong> Ask questions that widen your current
perspective. Questions like: “Does someone have it worse on the planet?” The
answer may not result in positive thoughts, but it can sure snap you of a
somewhat childish “poor, poor me…” attitude pretty quickly. This question
changes the perspective from a narrow, self-centred one into a much wider one
and helps me to lighten up about my situation and to be grateful about my life.
</li>
<li><strong>Bring awareness to you own thought patterns.</strong> Ask yourself
further questions like: “Honestly, am I overcomplicating this?” and “What is the
simplest and most straightforward solution to my problem that I may be avoiding
to protect myself from pain?” </li>
</ul>
<strong>3. Refocus your mind and attention towards the solutions rather than
the worry.</strong><br />
To move out of worry I find it enormously helpful to just start moving and
taking action to solve what I am concerned about.<br />
Two tips that have helped me to take action more consistently every week
are:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Using a morning routine. </strong>This is perhaps the most powerful
tip I have found so far in this area. You simply set up a routine in the morning
that you do as soon as you wake up. This works so well because what you do early
in the day often sets the context for your day. As humans we have a strong
tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. That’s one big
reason why a bad start often leads to a bad day and a good start often leads to
a good day. So create a routine that gives you a positive and proactive start to
your day. A tip is to include doing the hardest task of your day first thing in
your day.
</li>
<li><strong>Starting small. </strong>To get from a state where you just feel
like sitting on your chair and doing nothing much to one where you take action
over and over you can do this: start small. Getting started with your biggest
task or most difficult action may seem too much and land you in
Procrastinationland. So instead, start with something that doesn’t seem so hard.
One of my favorites is simply to take a few minutes to clean my desk. After that
the next thing doesn’t seem so difficult to get started with since I’m now in a
more of a “take action” kind of mode. </li>
</ul>
<strong>4. Go and do a work out.</strong><br />
This is perhaps a somewhat unusual step. But I have found that on some days I
cannot change my thoughts or immediately find an solution by using the three
steps above. Then I go and do a workout like lifting free weights for half an
hour or I do a body weight circuit. And that will most often change how I
feel.<br />
Because I get a hormone boost and an energy boost. With that boost in
hormones and energy you feel like you’re in forward motion, with a clearer focus
and you feel more inner stability with a lot less inner doubt.<br />
The nice thing about this is that it works kind of automatically. Sometimes
you just can’t let go of that worrying feeling or pump up your own enthusiasm or
motivation. Or see things from a positive perspective. When working out you
don’t have to think or push through such inner resistance. You go and you work
out. And most of the time it works like pushing a stress- and tension-release
button in yourself.<br />
<strong>5. Remember: Tomorrow will come anyway. Live and fully enjoy here and
now.</strong><br />
To be able to let go all that excessive thinking about the future (which
often leads to worries in the end), to live better today and to be able to take
that positive action to move forward it really has been very helpful for me to
develop a habit of learning to live in the present moment. Because it’s there
that you can do things in the best possible way with your focus fully on what
you are doing.<br />
Three of my favourite techniques for developing this habit and drawing myself
back to the now when I get lost thinking too much about the future or past are
these:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Focus on what’s right in front of you. </strong>Or around you. Or on
you. Use your senses. Just look at what’s right in front of you right now.
Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on
how they feel. Be still right there and just take in the world around you.
</li>
<li><strong>Focus on your breathing.</strong> Take relatively deep breaths with
your belly. Focus your attention on just the in- and out-breaths for about two
minutes. This aligns you with what is happening right now and it also calms down
a stressed and worried body.
</li>
<li><strong>Pick up the vibe from present people. </strong>If you know someone
that is more present than most people then you can pick up his/her vibe of
presence by hanging out with him or her (just like you can pick up positivity or
enthusiasm from people). If you don’t know someone like that then I have often
recommended listening to/watching Eckhart Tolle in the past. I still do. I
especially like his audio book “Stillness Speaks”. Another guy that I find
helpful for picking up presence from is Wayne Dyer. </li>
</ul>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-75290503098346886522011-11-12T19:49:00.001-08:002011-11-12T19:49:40.315-08:00How to Get the Boring Tasks Done<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”</em><br /><strong>Spanish
Proverb</strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted
task”</em><br /><strong>William James</strong><br />
Not all tasks of the day are inspiring, fun or exciting. Some just feel dull
or boring. But you still have to wash those dishes and take care of those
monotone, routine tasks at work or in school.<br />
So what can you do to not get lost in procrastination? How can you get going
with those tasks you don’t feel much like doing and get to done?<br />
In this article I’ll share how I do it, how I get some motivation and find
more pleasure in what may seem to be a boring task.<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Think of why you are doing the task and how good it will feel when
it is done.</strong> Instead of focusing your mind on how boring a task may feel
focus your thoughts on why you are doing this and how good it will feel when you
are done with it. If needed, sit down for a few minutes, close your eyes and see
in your mind and feel how good it will be when you are there, when you are done
with the task. Then go to work with that motivation and those positive feelings
in your body.
</li>
<li><strong>Do it mindfully.</strong> When you sort papers, do the laundry or do
the dishes be fully there. Focus 100% on just the fork with all your senses –
how it feels, looks and smells – as you are scrubbing it and nothing else. Don’t
get lost in daydreams. If you are just there I have found that even such a
simple and mundane task becomes more enjoyable and something that can bring
inner calm rather than distress.
</li>
<li><strong>Don’t think too much. Get going instead.</strong> The more you think
about the boring task the more boring it seems in your mind. And so it becomes
harder and harder to get started and to get to done. So try to think very little
about it. Just make a decision to start doing the task, get up and go do it
right away.
</li>
<li><strong>Make a deal with yourself and set a timer for 10 minutes.</strong>
It is often in easier to do tasks like these in small bursts. So make a deal
with yourself to make a dent in this task. Make a deal to just spend 10 minutes
on your inbox, mundane reading or cleaning the house. Set a kitchen timer and
say to yourself that you only have to do this work for 10 minutes. When the
timer rings you can continue doing it if you feel like it (this often happens to
me because getting started is the hard part). Or you can stop and go do
something more interesting instead.
</li>
<li><strong>Create a pleasurable distraction.</strong> If possible, try to
listen to the radio, your favorite songs, an audio book or watch a movie or
TV-episode while doing your boring task. You don’t always have to do just one
thing at a time in silence. I often listen to music or watch an episode of the
Simpsons while doing the dishes or other routine work at home.
</li>
<li><strong>Reward yourself.</strong> When you are done with your task then
reward yourself. Take a walk in the sun, move on to a more fun or creative task
at work or in school or have a tasty treat. This habit can make it easier to get
started and to keep going each day. Because you know that you can look forward
to not just being done and the long-term payoff from that but also your
immediate reward right after you are finished. </li>
</ul>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7336433372313718927.post-61303433835841967752011-11-12T19:48:00.003-08:002011-11-12T19:49:11.238-08:00How to Handle Criticism: 5 Helpful Steps<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.
You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.”</em><br /><strong>Eleanor
Roosevelt </strong>
<br />
<br />
<em>“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools
do.”</em><br /><strong>Benjamin Franklin</strong><br />
What do you fear in your everyday life? One common answer would probably be
to be criticized. To stand there and hear those words streaming out of someone’s
mouth and feel stupid or feel rejected or like you are getting smaller and
smaller.<br />
I get quite a bit of feedback from my readers. Most of it is positive and
supportive. But there are also sometimes criticism or harsh and nasty attacks.
That part isn’t always so fun and can be hurtful. But it is a part of life if
you want to live your life your way.<br />
That being said, I have a few steps that I usually run through when I get an
email that is critical or is attacking me. This isn’t some magical protection
from being hurt or feeling pain but it helps me to better handle criticism and
sometimes to get something good out of it.<br />
These steps work pretty well in real life too.<br />
<strong>1. Don’t reply right away.</strong><br />
It is very easy to become riled up, angry or defensive when you receive some
criticism. This is not a good position to be in to fire away a reply if you
don’t want to wind up making the situation worse.<br />
Plus, I really work on keeping my self-esteem high. And to lash back at them
or to not be the better person here can really hurt your self-esteem. It might
feel good for a while to do so but it is a dirty high that comes with a hangover
of feeling worse about yourself and subtle or not so subtle
self-destructiveness.<br />
So this is about my own well-being to a high degree. And so I never reply
back right away. Instead I look closer at the email. If you receive criticism in
real life try to at least take a couple of deep breaths to cool down just a bit
and to feel more balanced before you reply.<br />
<strong>2. Really listen to the criticism</strong><br />
Instead of attacking the other person for his or her words and building a
hostile atmosphere try to calm it down. Try to remain level-headed, open and
figure out how this message can help you.<br />
Ask yourself questions like:<br />
Can I learn something from this piece of criticism? Maybe there is something
here that I do not want to hear but that could help me to improve?<br />
<strong>3. Remember: the criticism isn’t always about you.</strong><br />
Some criticism is certainly helpful. Some isn’t that helpful or just simply
attacks. What can I do then?<br />
Well, then I remember that criticism isn’t always about me. It would be nice
if all criticism one gets comes from level-headed place. But in reality people
will have a bad day or week. Some will hate some part of their life. Some might
not be all that well at this moment.<br />
So they lash out at you to release pent up negative emotions. On your blog or
maybe in school or at work. It’s not fun. But it happens.<br />
To lessen the sting of this criticism or these attacks I try to be
understanding. I think that based on the message I got – often really angry or
overly critical about some pretty minor thing – this person isn’t feeling too
good right now and is overreacting or need to release some pent up emotions.<br />
By being understanding of this it becomes easier to just let such messages go
instead of feeling bad or becoming angry too.<br />
<strong>4. Reply or let go.</strong><br />
If you reply then try one or a few follow up questions if you think that
could help you. And even when someone blurts out something not too constructive
like “Your work/blog/product isn’t very good” you might want to ask a few
open-ended questions to get more constructive information.<br />
Questions like:<br />
<ul>
<li>What part of it did you not like or did you not find helpful?
</li>
<li>How can I improve it? </li>
</ul>
When I reply to a critical email I try to keep my attitude positive and kind
no matter what they have written.<br />
I thank him or her for what he or she wrote. I may add a question or two to
get more clarification.<br />
Sometimes I get back a much more level-headed reply where they actually help
me to improve what I am doing and although I may still feel a bit hurt it also
feels good to be the better person in this situation and to create a
constructive conversation.<br />
If they won’t answer your questions then they are probably just lashing out.
And so it is time to let go.<br />
I really don’t reply to all emails though. Nasty attacks are for example most
often just put in the junk mail folder. I have more interesting things to focus
on.<br />
<strong>5. Keep your daily balance.</strong><br />
This isn’t a step to handle one specific email, phone call or critical
message. But I have found that it becomes a whole lot easier to handle criticism
if you stay balanced in your daily life. Those messages seem to not be as
hurtful, they don’t affect me as much or sometimes just roll off my back like
water on a duck when I:<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Work in a relaxed way.</strong> Extra stress makes you more
susceptible to the negative messages and to overreacting to criticism.
</li>
<li><strong>Manage the 3 fundamentals.</strong> That means to eat properly, to
get enough sleep and to work out a couple of times a week. Keeping the balance
of your physical fundamentals make you mentally stronger too.
</li>
<li><strong>Keep the self-esteem up.</strong> Criticism can send you down a
spiral of self-loathing and feeling lousy about yourself. Keeping the stress
down and the energy-giving fundamentals up can help you to not wind up in such
dark places. Keeping your own self-esteem up is also vital. A couple of basic
things that help me to do so is to behave in way where I do the right thing
(like being the better person when replying to a critical email) as best I can,
to appreciate myself, my good traits and accomplishments and to forgive myself
instead of beating myself up about stuff or holding myself to impossible
standards</li>
</ul>
</div>senthilkumarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655112694478816633noreply@blogger.com0